Tuesday, March 27, 2012

No!!! Not the Asswipes!

Surprisingly informative
The other day I took care of toddler Sunshine for most of the day as Mrs. Sunshine was away doing some fun stuff leaving me alone with an out of control 2 year old (however, as the tables are turned most of the time I found it hard to argue too much...). Me and toddler Sunshine usually have plenty of fun together though as we can do all the stuff that Mrs. Sunshine doesn't want us to do. The episode where I made her taste some coca cola and she spit it out with an expression of confusion and disgust comes to mind.

Apart from some pants being put on the wrong way, she was in a pretty good state when Mrs. Sunshine returned with the mother-in-law who had driven her home and wanted to say hi to the grandchild. I could give good answers to all the standard questions like "Did she eat her dinner?", "Did she poo any?" and such. However, on this particular day we were out of the wet hand tissues that we use to wipe her hands with after dinner and when Mrs. Sunshine asked about it the conversation went something like this:

Mrs. Sunshine: (happy that everything had gone seemingly event free) Oh, did you find the wet tissues to wipe her hands with, I noticed that the package on the table had run out?
Salaryman: (also in a good mood) No, but I just one of the asswipes instead!
Mrs. Sunshine: (shocked) You used the asswipes?
Salaryman: (still in a good mood and somewhat expected this reaction) Well yeah, it's the same thing with water based moist tissue paper after all.
Mrs. Sunshine: (still in shock) Yeah, I know, but they're meant to wipe her butt not her mouth!
Salaryman: (still upbeat) Don't worry, I don't think the ones I used for her hands had been used before, might be good to use them on the other end once in a while to mix things up!
Mrs. Sunshine: (relenting) Fine, as long as she was a good girl...

Grandmother Sunshine had listened in on the conversation in the background and also went through the five stages of grief pretty quickly, but was still shaking her head and went to check on toddler Sunshine to make sure that the asswipes had not given her any lasting scars. 

7 comments:

Liz said...

This is so wierd, where I live we don't even have separate packages for tush and for hands. We have one package that we can use the way we want to. What's the difference between them - the smell? the roughness of the material?

RMilner said...

The label.

It's enough, to Japanese.

Chris said...

I use the asswipes to wipe my delicate stuff cuz I figured if it was for a baby's ass.....now I'm wondering why your in law is mortified? I wipe my mouth with those....am I gonna get some baby ass cancer or something?? :(

Anonymous said...

that's just weird in my town we only have one type of wipes

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Anonymous said...

That was bloody damn funny. Chrips, did she think you were reusing from the wrong end first?

Mr. Salaryman said...

Liz - I really don't think there's any difference at all, just different packages and opportunity to sell a little more, like RMilner says - for most Japanese, that's enough

Chris - You don't wanna get baby ass cancer, that's some nasty shit! Use the baby mouth wipes for your ass instead, much better!

Anon - If you live in Japan you just have to look a little more, there's plenty of them here!

Anon 2 - No, she knows that that would be a bit too much even for me. But for many Japanese, just the "ass" label kinda pollutes them in their mind a bit...

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