Just a minor fart!

To follow up on my previous posts while we're still on the earthquake theme, I'll just pull another one while I'm at it. Sensational disaster scenarios aside, the last months Japan has been spared of any larger aftershocks/quakes and the frequency seem to revert back to normal, as it was before the March 11 disaster. So, in terms of daily life, quakes are no longer at the top of the mind, at least not for me and the Salaryman family or at work.

However, last week, for the first time in many months, there was one of those "earthquake imminent" alarms in the Nagano region (I became aware of it as I was watching the NHK live news at the time, the warning did not get sent to Tokyo mobile phones). As Nagano is a bit from Tokyo I wasn't really worried about our personal safety, but it's still quite some tension from the time of the alarm until the quake actually comes. The news anchor looked very nervous and they immediately switched to some live feed from a building in Nagano to capture the quake. Seconds passed where nothing happened and the anchor man only repeated that people in the Nagano area should seek cover, a few more seconds passed without any shaking at all until about one minute fom the alarm when a measly "2" on the 1-7 Japanese scale gently shook Nagano.

Ok, it's great that it wasn't a big quake or anything and I assume that the Japanese authorities prefer to err on the side of safety when issuing these alarms nowadays, but the feeling I get is the same one as when you suddenly feel your stomach moving; making a desperate rush to the nearest bathroom under fear of crapping in the pants, but when finally safe sitting on the toilet (assuming it's not a Flaschspüler as you are never safe on one of those) only letting out a fart. It's a mix of relief for the false alarm and annoyance of the emotional trauma and desperate rush I had to endure for nothing...

...and this was the best you could come up with?!

It will look something like this (grandma fire brigade to the lower left)

Just a little bit earlier I was watching tv and one of the news shows did a feature on what could possibly happen when the overdue huge kanto earthquake, aka "the big one" would hit Tokyo. Quite sensational in nature, it showed how the Tsunami would carry with it burning debris and ignite large parts of Tokyo city turning Tokyo into a burning inferno with huge loss of lives and property as a consequence.

Although sensational in tone, it doesn't necessarily rule out that they're not completely wrong, so I watched with particular interest when they turned to the question "so now that we know that this might be a result of the big earthquake, what can and should we do to minimize the damage?".

...what they did show was a unit of voluntary "firemen" made up of old ladies which apparently had been formed in one of the wards of Tokyo city. The sweet old ladies seemed to have considerable problems running in a straight line and managing the fire hose. But yeah, if this is the first and only countermeasure that Tokyo city has put in place to combat the threat of going up in smoke, I feel more, not less secure...

I have however done my calculations... As the Salaryman family lives a bit outside of central Tokyo and I spend approximately ~12 hours of the day at home and also have some travel around Japan and the globe, I should have a slightly less than ~50% risk of being in central Tokyo when the big one hits... With the grandma fire brigade being the best countermeasure put in place, maybe I should see if I can reduce the risk a few percentage more... 

Well, if he's getting some, you really have no excuse!

So, after some adventures in the east coast of the US, I now finally find myself back at the Salaryman HQ in rural Chiba. The jetlag that the trip has given me is of monumental proportions and at 3AM this morning I found myself wide awake and promptly got up to sit and drink coffee in the darkness. 

During my absence, there is one quite interesting piece of news that I picked up on my return and it's related to our favorite Wig-Helmet guy, Nishiyama (aka Nobita-kun) and his personal romantic life... Apparently, last week, he was found to have "improper" relations with a lady in her early 30's in the ministry, kissing and fondling her in public in the workplace and as punishment was promtly put on a one month forced leave of absence. As I checked the news out, I also realized that I had missed a similar incident in June where he had been found to have improper relations with an assistant at work and was removed from the position of spokesman.

There is nothing that implies that these "improper" relations and public displays of kissing and fondling were of anything but mutual nature I must admit that I feel quite impressed with our little Nobita-kun's virility and success with the ladies. He is of course married as well so he's quite the busy little beaver juggling the young girls, work and family life!

So there you have it, there really is no excuse for you, if Nobita-kun can get some with the young girls, there really is no reason why you shouldn't either! But I can't help but wondering how he handles the wig-helmet during an intense session of love-making with one of his younger energetic girls? Does he place it on a hanger before, revealing his true nature or does he keep it on, desperately trying to keep it in place during the act? Much to contemplate indeed.

Don’t pray for Japan !

I want one of these

I’m an atheist and have always been. It’s really no big deal for me and since I grew up in Sweden where you would be considered more or less odd if you were strongly religious, it’s quite natural. I do still remember with shivers the horrible boredom I suffered when my old childhood pal Martin made me come to church with him on a Sunday since his mom is Christian and forced their kids to go and I joined in to keep him company… I did it once, but after that I preferred to stay at home and fight with my brother over who could use the C64 to play games (discounting the rare occasions when we actually played together…).

Other than that, the only time the family went to church was mostly on Christmas to keep grandma happy when she was visiting and more out of tradition than actual religious reasons. Apart from a relatively recent Christian wedding I felt obliged to attend here in Japan (mercifully short though) I haven’t attended any form of religious service for almost 20 years and feel good about that.

Then moving to Japan where religion seems to be replaced with a more general institutionalized superstition, it’s really nothing that particularly sets me apart. So being an atheist is not any particular dramatic statement or carries with it any form of controversy for me. On rare occasions some Japanese person might ask me if I’m Christian because I’m from Europe , but a “No, not really” is usually enough to end that topic. I’m generally not particularly outspoken about it either, as long as religious beliefs can be put aside I don’t particularly mind if anyone has (moderate) religious faith in any direction (hey, no one likes the extremists anyway).

...however, sometimes it can hit a nerve… After the big earthquake and the resulting disaster (I refuse to write “311”) Japan received a lot of support and sympathy from all over the world. That is something that was/is both needed and appreciated, as the disaster will leave a mark for many many years to come; personal for those who lost family and friends, economically for Japan as a nation (already before the disaster in quite dire straits…) and environmentally for the Fukushima area. But I also started to see a lot of messages saying “Pray for Japan ” and this really rubs me the wrong way… To me, as an atheist, “praying” is about as productive and helpful as picking your nose and borderline offensive to me. Probably something like telling a person of Christian, Muslim or Jewish faith “may Odin watch over you”.

Ok, I know that the people who said/wrote “pray for Japan ” did it out of the goodness of their hearts with nothing but good intentions and I waited to post this until the dust had settled a bit. I also realize that some people in the US use “pray” as a more general well-wish without any deep rooted religious intent, but still I much would have preferred a message like “I give cash for Japan” which is actually really helpful, or hey, if that fails why not just a simple "support Japan"…?

Whew! That felt good, I rant way too little, don't I? 

Your Guide to Disaster Related Press Conferences and the Main Players

It's finally calming down a bit now in Japan now with the endless press conferences on prime time, now most of the press conferences have found themselves delegated to short snippets in the news shows or shown in full on cable tv news channels. So it might be a little late, but I thought I should give you the heads up on the main players.

The Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency, Starring Nishiyama-san, aka "Nobita-kun"

Definitely one of my favorites. I've mentioned a bit on him earlier (here and here). Trademarks of his press conferences are looking very uncomfortable when questioned, giving out data that is contradictionary to what TEPCO and the government is saying and then looking confused when confronted with the discrepancies. One of my favorite repeating moments is when he looks confused and then leans to the side and lets one of his peons point out to him what he's about to say. But to be honest, the wig helmet captures most of my attention making it quite difficult for me to focus on what he's actually saying.

Entertainment Value: 7 - Mostly awarded due to my fascination with the wig and the deliciously awkward moments that are bound to happen
Authority : 2 - Even if I did listen to what he's actually saying, it feels kinda pointless as there seems to be a lot of people that has more and better information than dear old Nobita-kun
Fashion Sense: 9 - This is really where he shines, his work uniform is actually quite fancy, I like the khaki look with the blue for added flair on the shoulders
Cuddelability: 1 - Almost going into the negative, particularly of fear for the wig

Tokyo Electric Power Company - Starring a bunch of people

I guess that there is actually two types of TEPCO press conferences; the technical ones that take place on a daily basis and the corporate ones featuring the executives crying and aplogizing (and rightly so!) that are more rare. This review deals with the daily technical update press conference. I am quite fond of this bunch actually, it is quite immediately apparent that these guys have not received any media training to speak of but are picked because they know what they are talking about.

Usually there are at least five of them sitting tightly huddled together, whispering among each other and actually seem quite adept at letting the relevant expert speak. As they are talking technical speak they rarely get pushed in a corned the same way as poor Nobita-kun. My favorite among these guys is Matsumoto-san (seen in the picture) as he reminds me a bit of Cpt. Awkward in terms of looks and speaking style.

Entertainment Value: 3 - Usually too advanced for me to follow in detail and although the team looks great and entertaining, it is getting a bit old by now
Authority: 5 - They obviously know what they're talking about, but as they're on the payroll of TEPCO I find that I need to take their statements with a grain of salt
Fashion Sense: 5 - The work jackets they wear are ok, nothing special with no fancy fashion details but the color is pleasant enough
Cuddelability: 4 - Slightly below average, they do seem to be quite cozy together though and I would probably feel quite safe and comfortable squeezed in between them during a press conference, but they seem a bit too engineer-ish to score high here

Chief Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano

Although he ditched the work jacket a few weeks ago, he still is the man when it comes to holding press conferences. It's obvious that he's quite comfortable with the press conferences now as he manages the press with an amusing balance of friendliness and condecending attitude. Not to mention that his press conferences is usually the place where any relevant information from the government gets told.

Entertainment: 3 - Edano's press conferences are not exactly fun filled apart from the occasional scolding of a reporter asking a stupid question
Authority: 10 - This is one of Edano's strongest areas, perhaps because he's the direct spokesman of the government and actually knows what's going on
Fashion Sense: 2 - This score is based on the terribly boring light blue work jacket that all government officials seemed to be wearing to show how serious they were in the time of crisis, horribly dull with no fashion details to take attention away from the dull color
Cuddelability: 10 - Amazingly enough, Edano manages to pull of a combination of authority and cuddelability, something that you would normally think is an impossible combination. I feel like I should listen to what he says, but then I'd like to put a leash on him, take him for a walk and then let him sleep at the foot of my bed, licking my hand in the morning to gently wake me up (maybe even jumping in the bed and licking my face)

Now, the golden days of the marathon press conferences seem to be coming to an end and on the TV today, the announced that they will start to combine Nobita-kun and the TEPCO team for joint-press conference, something that is bound to help clarifying information but will reduce some of the entertainment of seeing Nobita-kun looking around awkwardly for help...

On the whole, I think we should be thankful that prime minister Kan's press conferences were kept to a minimum!

The Earthquake Syndrome

Now it's been over a month since the big quake and the frequency of aftershocks have calmed down considerably except for a temporary surge last Monday and Tuesday.

However it seems like me and a lot of other people have now gotten some kind of "earthquake syndrome" thinking that it's shaking when it's actually not. Quite often in the office people look up and say "is it only me or is it shaking?" when it's actually not and sometimes I get mild feelings of sea-sickness due to some imaginary shaking. I'm sure there must be some real name for this but can't be bothered now to try and look it up.

The other day, we had a meeting in one of our meeting rooms in the corner of the office, with a nice view of central Tokyo with plenty of big windows. The meeting went fine as normal, but afterwards me and Mr. Pot-Belly remained to sort out some minor questions that had been brought up and we needed to discuss a little informally. It should be noted that both me and Mr. Pot-Belly both are quite uncomfortable with the shaking in the office (ok, not many people are completely comfortable with it, but they scare me a little more than most I would probably say, even though I know rationally that we should be safe in the newly built office building). As we were sitting talking I started to notice some minor creaking noises coming from the corner of the room. The conversation that followed went something like this:

Mr. Salaryman: (mildly alarmed) Did you hear that?

Mr. Pot-Belly: (curious) No, what?

Mr. Salaryman: (still mildly alarmed) The creaking noises from the corner close to the window, is there an earthquake now?

Mr. Pot-Belly: (also getting a little nervous) Is there? I'm not sure but now I hear the noise too...

(a few seconds of silence as we both sit still, listen and try to figure out if it's shaking)

Mr. Salaryman: (nervously joking) Well, I hope this whole corner won't fall off the building if there's a big one

Mr. Pot-Belly: (getting up) Let's get the hell out of this room!

..and I, after ten years in Japan thought I had gotten used to earthquakes... But I guess it's hard to get used to the wrath of mother nature...

Avoid Saitama - Swedish government advises!

Now, slowly, one by one the countries are starting to lift their recommendations to avoid "non-essential" travel to Tokyo. The Brits lifted it earlier in the week and now opens up for visits to Tokyo even of "non-essential" nature, which I, wrongly or not, interpret as that they're saying that "it's ok to go there as a tourist". The Brits still keep the recommendation to avoid going to the affected regions "north-east of Tokyo". The US are still keeping their recommendation of avoiding non-essential travel to Tokyo, but I would be surprised if this wasn't changed too in the coming days. Now, Sweden have also opened up for travel to Tokyo, but the Swedes are a lot more precis in which areas to not go to and still recommends people to avoid going to the prefectures of Miyagi, Fukushima, Yamagata, Niigata, Tochigi, Gunma, Ibaraki and Saitama... Mind you, this is the same government that refered to Fukushima as "Fukuchima" on the offical homepage of the foreign ministry.

I like how this precis division of which prefectures are "safe" and which should be avoided so clearly shows a complete ignorance of how the greater Kanto region actually looks. Northern Chiba prefecture is for instance actually much closer to the Fukushima Dai-ichi plant than most parts of Saitama, but Chiba prefecture is not mentioned and is apparently with the same standards considered completely "safe" to go to.

Or maybe, just maybe, this is actually a strategic thing they starting to do here. Perhaps they will lift restrictions a little by little until only Saitama is remaining and then just keep a permanent recommendation to avoid "non-essential travel" there? Considering that Saitama is a sad and barren place compared to the lushness of Chiba? I would fully support this since it makes perfect sense!

#Quakebook: Co-authored by Mr. Salaryman, William Gibson and a bunch of other people

I don't really feel like going through the whole history of this book, those of you interested should check out the official blog of the #quakebook here. The short version is that it was thought up by My Man in Abiko at one point when he was naked, it had something to do with people sending twitter messages all over the place and then a book got done pretty quickly and then it built quite a buzz.

All proceeds of the book will go directly to the Japanese Red Cross to support the survivors of the earthquake with Amazon waivering their normal commission, so buying the book at $9.99 means that the full amount will go to the JRC. The book in digital format is available here at Amazon.com, if you are even the least bit interested in how people perceived the quake, why not buy it and even if the book doesn't interest you that much, you can still sleep a little better knowing that you donated a little money to the relief efforts here in Japan. If you are completely uninterested in the book, you can still go to the page and donate some money directly to the JRC and still sleep better at night without having to download the book.As you probably have figured out, a piece by me is in the book (based on this post) and I feel a little bad about it since if I had known it would snowball as it has done, I would have put a little more time in it and written something different under my own name. In the beginning, I didn't really care that much if I ended up in the book or not since I wasn't really sure on whether the tone of my piece would be suitable or not.

However, this all changed the day I saw that they had gotten legendary sci-fi writer William Gibson to participate with an original piece for #Quakebook... I mean, when Neuromancer, Count Zero and Mona Lisa Overdrive came out, I was heavily into the "Electronic Body Music" subculture (for you americans, think something like goth with less gloom and more electronics) where those books quickly became the bibles of the subculture and had a tremendous impact. Not to mention that his books made it a bit cool to have Japanese heritage.

(in fact, just thinking of it made me want to watch the classic Frontline Assembly Mindphaser video again... and makes me remember how I, during my first visit in Tokyo, desperately scavenged obscure video stores to get a copy of the Gunhead movie that the video took most of the visuals from - yeah, the movie sucked)

So for me, being able to say, that I "co-authored a book with William Gibson" is something huge. "Yoko Ono is in there too" - Couldn't care less, she might brag about being co-author of a book with me though, but that's her right. This is almost up there with becoming a temporary member of the Ramones and be able to start calling myself Mr. Salaryman Ramone (sadly, with the passing of Dee Dee, Joey and Johnny it's not very likely to happen...).

Ok, I can't help being a little annoyed with some of the edits done to my piece... In particular the part from the original going:

"The situation in the Fukushima plant is still worrisome, but the worst doomsday advocates seem to have calmed down a little bit; perhaps because the reality is bad enough and some foreign media was playing up the "the situation is beyond critical" angle so hard yesterday that instead of trying to trump it, they went with Libya instead and other news that had more drama in them."

...somehow got edited down to a much blander:

"The situation in the Fukushima plant is still worrisome, but the worst doomsday advocates seem to have calmed down a little bit. Perhaps this is because the reality is bad enough and the foreign media has switched its reporting to the situation in Lybia and other, more dramatic news stories"

But hey, it's all good, my blog is still here and I understand that the whole book was finished under heavy time pressure and I can cross out "co-author with William Gibson" with my big list of "things I want to achieve before I die" so I have no complaints! Now buy the book, donate some extra and feel like you did something useful!

The North Korea Reports on The Quake without Fear or Favor

During this time of disaster, it's very hard to know which news to listen to, the government are always covering up the important facts, the foreign tabloid media are fear-mongers and the Japanese media does not always dig into the facts as much as they should. Sure, I tried going directly to the source to see what the World Health Organization and their updates, I've looked at the International Atomic Energy Agency's daily updates on the Fukushima plant situation and at one point I even trusted the Chief Scientific Advisor of the British Government Sir Poppers Sidebottom and his briefings. I even looked up on the Greenpeace site to get their take on the situation in Fukushima. Not to mention the countless Japanese authorities and organizations out there.

But I dunno, it feels like everyone has an agenda and can't be fully trusted. So I felt a bit lost and confused for a while until I realized that I should go directly to the people that never resort to hyperbole, who always provide calm and reasonable facts in difficult times; the North Korean State News Agency! , They have a dedicated area of their brilliant International News site dedicated to the events following the great Tohoku quake and I finally feel that I can get a balanced and realistic view of the situation without any hidden agenda. I do recommend you to read up on it all yourself to get educated, but I can share some highlights that I have picked up from it:

• One earthquake was specifically noted to have taken place underground


• Four of the nuclear reactors in Fukushima went into complete meltdown two weeks ago


• Drinking water in Tokyo has gone up in price tenfold (strange that I haven't noticed this myself)


• They support Ozawa (no surprise there, I always suspected it) in his honest and fair harsh criticism of the Japanese government


• Civil unrest is growing all across the nation


• General Secretary Kim Jong Il sent out of his loving care relief fund and donated $100,000 to the Japanese Red Cross (?!) and at a value of $500,000 to regime friendly Korean associations in Japan


• Prime Minister Naoto Kan advised the people across the country not to eat "all leafy vegetables" cultivated in the Fukushima Region

...and so much more valuable information that other media has not given any real information to. This is really the truth without any dirty political agenda to it and I will eagerly follow any updates, lapping up any information that the Great Leader kindly shares with us here in the militaristic and aggressive nation of Japan. They do have big hearts full of forgiveness indeed!

I think that we need a little recalibration here?

At one point when I have a little more time, I will guide you a bit through the stars in the recent endless press conferences, my two particular favorites are the Chief Cabinet Secretary Edano representing the government and then Nishiyama (aka "Nobita-kun") of the Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency under the ministry of finance. Click the link above to get my take on his previous appearances.

Yesterday, I happened to catch another one of his great press conferences, as always heavily featuring people whispering to him what to say. The topic turned to the extremely high amounts of radioactive iodide that has been registered in the ocean close to the nuclear plant. He said something like "so... eh... recently the amounts of radioactive iodide in the ocean close to the plant has... eh... given a little high values... eh... 4,300 the normal amount... I think".

Now, what I find interesting here is his definition of how he defines "a little". Normally I would say that "3-5 times the normal amount" could be called "a little", maybe "a hundred times" could get a "quite high", but over 4,000 times the normal amount? I would say "extremely high", but not my man Nobita-ku, for him, it's "a little". I shudder to think of the values that he will need to say "high"...

Well, in any case, seems like seafood from Fukushima is off the plate for a while, but it never really was on it to begin with anywa, so no big loss for me!

Post-Disaster - Dawn of the bottom feeders

Our resident Badboy mentioned it earlier in his blog as well (see here), but it is something that I feel is important to bring up as well. Foreign media is very keen on simplifying things and make it black and white; still talking about the "doomed Fukushima 50 trying to keep the Fukushima plant under control even though they know they will die" because of the great dramatic setting that this scenario sets even though the connection with the reality is very fleeting.

Also, racism is something that is bound to annoy me. Positive racism is no exception. The foreign media loves to focus on how everyone is behaving calm and orderly with no looting or exploitation of the survivors of the disaster in the worst affected regions. Ok, in terms of magnitude, I think that the Japanese situation has been very mild, partly due to cultural reasons, but also due to the situation. However, stories of looting are now becoming more frequent with people returning to half wrecked homes to watch over their belongings due to a rash of looting in the partially ruined towns.

Something that I consider as bad are the other type of bottom feeders that are now coming the surface now preying on people's fears. Promoting Potassium Iodide as a miracle radiation vaccine for outrageous prices, people collecting money for "charity" (with the concept of "charity begins at my own home") and chain e-mails created just for the purpose of promoting fear with false information.

I think that the people in Japan (foreigners and Japanese alike) can and should take some pride in how calmly this crisis has been met, but to completely portray the situation as "no looting or exploitation at all" is wrong to begin with and in the longer run, does more harm than good to the image of Japan and the Japanese. When there is disasters like this, there will always be scavengers and bottom feeders around to try to take what they can get from people that have already lost almost everything and Japan is no exception.

(this week, baby Sunshine has savagely looted and extorted almost all of my precious sleeping time so I have not been completely shielded either!)

Whatever you do, don't panic! DON'T PANIC!!!

With things as stable as they are now in the Tokyo area, I think you all are getting bored with these earthquake related posts, but there are so many bizarre events and stories that came out of this whole event that deserve to be told...

The last two weeks, quite a few foreign companies temporarily evacuated some functions to the West Japan area out of nuclear fear (there is something about the words "nuclear meltdown" that seem to trigger panic and prevents some normal sensible people to actually check on facts before they act). While the Japanese companies soldiered on as close to normal as was possible, with the main difficulty being the "planned" rolling blackouts.

In my little company as well, emergency evacuation plans were drafted out and for reasons I'm not quite sure of, I saw the "evacuate Tokyo now" message that had been drafted out by the people in charge of the employees safety, to be distributed immediately in case of a perceived need for everyone to run away. The message looked something like below (although in Japanese):

EVACUATE TOKYO NOW!!!

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY EVACUATION ORDER, THE AREA IS NOT SAFE, EVACUATE TO SAFETY IMMEDIATELY!!!

,

Please remember to act in a calm and orderly manner

As you might understand, I am particularly fond of the "calm and orderly manner" part which was added as an afterthought in considerably smaller letters compared to the panic inducing evacuation message. It's during situations like this you can see who you can really rely on during an emergency...

"Ok, I accept your excuse"

Yesterday, an e-mail was sent out to representatives of several countries at once from one of my colleagues in head office, a guy I get along very well with and have known for many years now, asking for a certain data to be submitted as the deadline now was drawing close.

Obviously, due the recent disasters in Japan I have not had the chance to even start thinking about it and sent back a reply that went something like this:

"Hey there, considering that Japan has just suffered a horrible earthquake, followed by a devastating tsunami and a nuclear meltdown, I think that we need another week of extension to the deadline at least?".

The answer came quickly "Well, that is about as good as an excuse can ever get, you guys get another month to submit the data, but don't fret it, if you need more time just let me know".

I might have come across the ultimate excuse here to, now I just have to figure out how to best keep milking it!

(Disclaimer: This post is made with black humor and doesn't mean that I will actually mean to exploit the horrible disaster just to be lazy)

Earthquake Helmets (Pro-tek yo Head!)

As most salarymen and office ladies in Tokyo, we have our own little earthquake helmets that we only used for the emergency drills and were perceived as a bit of a joke. Up until, of course, Friday two weeks ago when I put it on in earnest while grabbing my can of biscuits and bottle of water, huddling under the table with Cpt. Awkward fearing for the safety of myself and my family back at the Salaryman base of operations.

I actually also brought out the instructions for use pamphlet at one point and flipped through it just in case there was something I needed to know about how to wear a helmet. In the IFU were some great illustrations on how the helmet should look like (see the picture, click to enlarge). The text is basically talking about a number of checks you should do; one I particularly like is "check to make sure that there are no holes in it other than made by the manufacturer" and "check that there are no cracks in the helmet".

.

But what really caught my attention in this is the expression on the faces of the people wearing these defect helmets. I particularly like how they went through the effort of making individual expressions for each case and I also wonder if I need to take the facial expressions into account when trying to find out the severity of the defects. For instance, guy number 3 "check that there are no scratches on the the helmet" looks a bit sleepy while guy number 10 "check that the helmet is not shaped oddly" looks closer to panic, guy number 4 with the "check that there is no dirt on the helmet" mostly looks pissed off.

I also wonder if the facial expression illustrate how one should feel about each particular problem? Well, in any case, I hope I can put away the helmet again for quite some time. As far as my check went, it looked fine, but not sure which facial expression would be suitable for this?

Preparing for the Apocalypse - Toilet Warrior

The earthquake, tsunami and Fukushima pland disaster and the consequences they have had to the Tokyo region has brought many important lessons. One scary thing to consider is that this quake is not the long overdue Kanto area earthquake, that one is also bound to come sooner or later. I think it's important to keep in mind that Tokyo actually wasn't hit particularly hard by the quake, sure, it was scary and confusing for a while, but there only were a handful of unlucky victims here (I think the death count ended up at 5 in Tokyo, nothing compared to the thousands in the prefectures hit worst).

As a Westerner, I have grown up picturing the post-apocalyptic world as something from Mad Max, where gasoline would be the most valuable resources and trading chip. However, it has become clear that this would not be the case for Japan, the most sought after resource would be toilet paper (and tissue paper to a lesser extent). Sure, gasoline was hard to come by and bottled water was also sold out (the ongoing "low levels of radioactive iodine found in Tokyo water" doesn't really help either) but plenty of other bottled drinks were available all the time during the aftermath. In the post-apocalyptic world of Japan, the person with the most toilet paper will be calling the shots. I can see a scenario where people are divided into classes depending on how dirty their assholes are; perhaps people would greet each other through sniffing butts to quickly identify their respective social statuses?

So now I'm considering to start hoarding toilet paper in huge amounts to be able to come out as the Mr. Big in my local area after the apocalypse and have people bring me food, drinks and serve my family for some filthy used strips of toilet paper. You have to think ahead!

...is anyone left in Tokyo?

Last Sunday, Mrs. Sunshine got a mail from her friend who had been "forced" by her French husband to leave everything behind and run away to france (read here) asking her "have you guys also gone to Osaka now, is there any people left in Tokyo?". Just as things were really starting to go back to almost normal life here in the Tokyo area. Mrs. Sunshine quickly replied back "Yes, we're all here and it's calmed down a lot now on the quakes, supply of stuff and the Fukushima is scary, but it doesn't seem like it will affect Tokyo in any case, we're not going anywhere".

A few minutes later a reply came again "Really? Crap, I'll call my boss, maybe I can make it back to Japan and come into the office on Tuesday if they haven't fired me!". Maybe she explained that her husband is French and that was the reason they ran away in the night or they just really liked her, because they apparently had not yet fired her in the absence and welcomed her back and even gave her an extra day off since she had problems finding a flight on so short notice.

,

I guess there's a lesson in here; even if a French guy tricks you into running away with him, you can still run away back to where you came from!

Earthquake Press Conferences - The truth told in the margins?

The whole earthquake, tsunami and Fukushima power plant disaster here in Japan have been accompanied by a parade of press conferences and I must admit that I have had problems following exactly who is what and from what perspective that they're talking all the time as it's been from various government functions, Tepco, Tokyo Power etc.

One of my "favorites" in the press marathon press conferences have been Nishiyama-san, a bureaucrat from the Ministry of Finance. That his understanding of the nuclear crisis was limited was clearly visible in his hesitation to answer questions, frequent pauses and then leaning to the side so one of his peons could whisper to him what to say. He has also gotten the nickname "Nobita-kun" due to a perceived likeness to the boy in the Doraemon comics.

I was watching one of the press conferences on the Fukushima struggle to cool down the reactors last Friday, streaming on the computer. On the right hand side of the tv window a chat/message board was available with a constant stream of comments from the Japanese audience watching it online. Most of them were not particularly interesting or amusing, but one nugget came from someone watching just as the press conference started:

"How can you trust someone who hides his own baldness to be open about a nuclear disaster!?"

A very insightful analysis indeed. However, I'm not sure that the fundamental analysis is correct, since it looks to me like Nobita-kun have a very rich hair and doesn't do a comb over? Something to ponder indeed.

Earthquake Tales: Cpt. Awkward and the Biscuits

Things are now almost back to normal here in Chiba, gasoline is available and the supermarket was well stocked and people were no longer panic buying like they had done earlier in the week. The local Aeon department store was still not operating 100% but I assume that they will be fully up and running early next week. The whole nuclear plant situation is still hovering in the background and still in crisis, but I do not fear for mine or my family's safety anymore. For the first time in several days there came one of those "earthquake imminent" emergency mails, but it too, ended up as a minor fart that we didn't even feel. The risk for a major aftershock according to the news has now also been downgraded to 30% until tomorrow where it used to be 50%.

With that situation report out of the way, I think I could delve a little deeper into the events of the earthquake day of Friday the 11th. The whole story of that day you can read here, but the little tale I'm about to tell you takes place at 10PM when me and the finance guy just came back to the office after our futile excursion to find a way home to the outback of Chiba.

As we come back, Cpt. Awkward and one other guy are still in the office, Cpt. Awkwards is working on some documentation like nothing irregular had happened and seemed quite comfortable in the office (it's more like a second home to him than an "office" in any case and he is known to stay the night quite frequently for no apparent reason). I sat down at my desk again and tried to get more info on the trains and the quake on the Internet and as I happen to glance over to my right where Cpt. Awkward is sitting, I see him open the box of biscuits we had in our individual emergency kits. It should be noted that there was no lack of food in the office as someone in the administration had shown a bit of initiative and procured quite significant amounts of food for those who would not be able to get home and would need to stay in the office.

Cpt. Awkward notices me looking at him as he's merrily throwing biscuit after biscuits in his mouth, chewing with an open mouth and staring out in the distance.

Cpt. Awkward: What?

Salaryman: (puzzled) ...it's just... why are you eating those biscuits?

Cpt. Awkward: Oh, I just got a bit curious on how they tasted and thought I might as well eat them?

Salaryman: (feeling like I have to ask) Well, ok, how are they...?

Cpt. Awkward: (still eating them) They're ok I guess, a bit dry though

As went back into the night to hunt for a taxi, he was still eating the biscuits and humming to himself...

The Earthquake and the French

One of the sources that I have been following post the earthquake has been information from the British embassy and the British governments Chief Scientific Advisor, Sir John Beddington (very British name indeed). They have kept up providing calm and levelheaded updates on the situation and what should be done. Yesterday another very informative summary was released via the British Chamber of Commerce (read it here).

One thing I found amusing in particular is how he can't avoid kicking a little on the French and their more drastic recommendations to leave Tokyo and shipping French nationals out of Japan. I quote from the transcription:

"Q: Why is the French giving different advice?

Sir John: Their advice is not based on science."

Nice one indeed Sir Beddington!

A Japanese friend of Mrs. Sunshine married to a Frenchman saw her husband going into panic and literally made his wife and kid run away in the night with him to the first flight out of Tokyo last Tuesday, with no intention of ever coming back, leaving everything behind as it was and stopping the wife from notifying her company that she wouldn't be back to work, ever.

Seems like the French government did a great job fueling the panic while the Brits maintained a stiff upper lip! I'll keep listening to Sir Beddington, thank you very much.

One Week Post-Earthquake - Illusion of Normality

Again, not a particularly fun post perhaps, but more of a status report for those of you who for some reason check in to get a glimpse of how people in the Tokyo area are coping.

Today was a sunny great day, albeit a bit chilly, spring is supposed to return in force from tomorrow and get the Tokyo temperatures up to almost 20 degrees Celsius. As the Salaryman family headed out on foot today to get some groceries in the local supermarket (just to be safe, we try to save the gasoline we have in the car since it's still difficult to get) things almost seemed back to normal. All the small shops close to our house was open for business and to our great joy the fantastic (but expensive!) local bakery was open for business allowing us to get hold of some good bread for the first time in a week. The supermarket was reasonably well stocked and we managed to get hold of some diapers and the other stuff we needed (toilet paper, tissue paper and rice was still sold out, but we had secured some at least earlier).

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The situation in the Fukushima plant is still worrisome, but the worst doomsday advocates seem to have calmed down a little bit; perhaps because the reality is bad enough and some foreign media was playing up the "the situation is beyond critical" angle so hard yesterday that instead of trying to trump it, they went with Libya instead and other news that had more drama in them.

Minor aftershocks keep on coming, but my impression is that the frequency and intensity is calming down a little bit and at this stage, a 3 or 4 on the Japanese scale from 1-7 hardly grabs my attention anymore as long as I know that the Baby and Mrs. Sunshine are with me. Planned power outages are announced and said to be rolling in the greater Tokyo region, but either they have forgotten our little hidden valley or we have something very important that we don't know about next doors, because power has not been interrupted in the Salaryman base of operations.

The Japanese media is not as extremely focused on the Fukushima situation as overseas and a lot of tragedy and desperation is coming to the surface with stories of survivors who have lost everything and people who are desperately waiting for help and supplies in isolated "safe zones". The total death toll has now surpassed the Hanshin earthquake and is sure to rise further as "missing persons" will need to be added to the death roll. But in all this, there is also a sense of returning "normality" and as I'm writing this, I'm drinking a beer and finally relaxing after a week of constantly trying to learn more about the situation, about earthquakes, about tsunami, about radiation and about the extent of death in this tragedy.

I know that strong aftershocks might follow, but I'm ok with that and realize that it doesn't mean that the whole thing will repeat itself again. For now, I feel like I can relax a bit for the first time in what feels like an eternity and after finishing this, I will enjoy a big whiskey.