Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Crazy Bunch

On Friday this week we had something that can be most suitably be labeled " a carnival of incompetence". Basically a minor chain of continuous incompetence over an extended period of time that culminated in an intense outbreak of incompetence.

I am not completely certain of the scale used to measure incompetence, but this would end up on the higher end of the scale, we're talking incompetence that if it would be an earthquake easily would level even the sturdies built cities...

Anyway, the story behind that is tied to my current project that I've touched upon a little earlier and surely will have reason to come back to more later on, but I thought I should spend today's post on some of the merry pranksters that make my office so interesting and unintentionally funny from time to time. So, make sure you sit comfortably and have a refreshments handy (whisky would be my personal recommendation) and I'll give you a brief description!

Ok, first and foremost, we have El Presidente, the CEO and co-founder of our little company. Actually a pretty nice guy at most times, but has some problems with his temper. Depending on his mood of the day things can become a little blown out of proportion and cause grief and bodily harm. Fortunately, the main target of his agression is not me or the people working on projects, but there has been collateral damage... The main target is the co-founder and vice president, Mr. J.
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 5
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 6

Then we have the co-founder and vice president, Mr. J. He is a very serious person that likes to drive his teams into the ground. Often with soul-crushing mind numbing work that is completely pointless and anyway gets scrapped when El President lays his eyes on it. He's also a hopeless masochist that time and time again puts himself in the line of fire of El Presidente's wrath. A complete lack of humor also makes for many amusing situations. He is often the source of many of our incompetence related accidents... I probably need to devote an entire post to more in detail describe the relationship between El Presidente and Mr. J since it is too complicated to describe here quickly, and there's plenty of humor there I wouldn't wanna simplify here.
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): -2
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 10

Then we have Mr. K who just started in the company in a managerial position. Actually a very reasonable person with common sense. It's still a mystery to us how such a person joined our company... The main discussion in the office regarding him is whether he's gay or not, not that it is anything that anyone in the office would have any problem with, but it vexes us.
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 5
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 4

Then we go further down in the organization...

We have Ms. A in a mid-level position, actually a very nice japanese lady in her early forties. She is also very very Christian... I personally am not too hot about religion and that opinion is shared by most of my colleagues as well. Standing by her desk feels more like you entered the Sistine Chapel by mistake... There's the bible and some other illustrated biblical book, various copied proverbs lying around and Christian themed screensavers. I have not been directly affected by this, but there has been incidents when she tells people how God guides her business decisions...
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 4
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 7

Then comes the Texan, one of the least modest people I have ever met... Actually a very nice guy and someone whom I share a number of interests with, but not a very modest person to say the least. Although this very much fits my image of people from Texas, as a European person I don't know how much is prejudice, but anyway. He's also the person responsible for us in the office having to endure a "sexual harrasment" training later this month... To add to the irony, he will be out of the office the time we have the training...
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 6.5
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 3

Moving slightly down in the organization we have Luke, one of the people in my current project team and together with had to endure the recent tsunami of incompetence. He looks like he was rejected from the Ramones with the phrase "get a haircut!". He's also the kind of person that never is in any hurry, stress just never seem to be able to reach him. However, beneath the ragged looks and slow manners is an extremely sharp brain and unexpected interest; wine and cooking....
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 8
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 3

To continue with the people in my current project team, we have the Boy. A half-japanese, half eastern European guy in his early twenties that insists that he's Japanese because that's what his passport says. He's a pretty thin guy, but the amounts of food that he can down at lunch time never ceases to amaze me, we're talking pretty large volumes here... His hunger is so great that it has a gravity of its own and it happens that I get pulled into it as well on occasion.
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 7
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 1

Another source of great amusement is Mr. M, also a young guy in the early twenties who for some reason seem to think that he's much better than the other people at the same level as him. For some reason he's also very open about his love life, or rather, his lack of a love life. He has confided in several people that not only has he never had sex with anyone, but he has never even kissed anyone in his whole life... What surprises us the most is that he actually volunteers this information by himself without being pressured into it at all. I believe that I will have plenty of opportunity to get back to this topic again later on...
Intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 2
Un-intentional Amusement Level (1-10): 9

That's about half of the people in the office and I might gradually introduce newer characters as they make entertaining appearances (which I am sure of), but to start the drama of, I think these will do.

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