The end (for now at least)...

This blog was always intended to mainly be about absurdities and funny stories from working as a Salaryman and not a "life in Japan" blog. Unfortunately the new job make it difficult to keep this up, the problem is not a lack of amusing stories from work, the material from that little crack where Japanese business culture meets European business culture is generating as much friction as ever! However, the problem that I am facing now is that I am in a much smaller organization and working with a fixed number of clients in a relatively limited geographical location. This is making it very difficult to keep up the anonymity and to not risk pissing any clients off, or in worst case damage someones business, I cannot really blog about work stuff as I used to and if I can't, it's not particularly fun anymore.

Of course, with two small children I have no gaping hole of free time and energy that needs to be filled either, so I have decided to end my bad consciousness for not posting more often and "officially" put this blog on an indefinite hold. At some point in the future when I have more time and energy and the work situation allows it I might pick it up where I left it, but if and when that would be I have no idea. 

I really do hate when people stop blogging in the middle of something without bringing any closure to how things ended up so let me assure you that things are going well. The new job is great fun so far, Toddler Sunshine and Baby Salaryman are growing up way to fast or way too slow (depending on their attitude), but are healthy and keeping us busy. Mrs. Sunshine is also doing as well as can be expected after managing two small kids, but we are still having fun.

So, thank you all for following me for as long as you have. I am a bit curious on whether I have any followers from the first couple of years, if you have I would appreciate if you could drop a quick comment. 

Thank you goes out to the small informal blogging community that formed around this blog, Chris, Corinne, Kathryn, Kamo, the Octopus (although he has also dropped of the radar now mostly) and everyone else on my blogroll! Also, thank you to everyone who has commented here at one point or another over the years, thank you tons, you are the guys and gals that kept it fun to blog.

I will still monitor my e-mail and this blog so if you want/need to reach me you can still drop a comment or send me a mail. So again, thank you all for reading all these years and see you around!

The Cleansing

Burn those books, you'll feel better afterwards!

As I in the quite near future will start working a lot more from home (assuming toddler Sunshine and Baby Salaryman will kindly allow me to do so) I did a purging of my computer/work room to throw out some old stuff. I threw out two large cardboard boxes of books and a large part of my trade paperback collection of comics went deep into the closet.

There was a time when my most valued possessions was my "stuff", things like books, comics, DVD collection, games and CDs, everything else I didn't care too much about, even if the TV was expensive it would be easy to replace while my "stuff" had taken some time and effort to acquire and not as easily replaced. The change to digital media has piece by piece ruined this for me, the first to go was my CD collection as the iPod and iTunes came into play. My 2000+ CD collection now sits in a drawer (all hard plastic cases exchanged for thin plastic sleeves to take up less space) and I have not taken out a CD for over 4 years... Selling it off does not really seem like an option considering that I would in best case only get a pittance for it, particularly here in Japan as the music is obscure, but I can't bring myself to throw it away either as many of the CDs hold a story for me, so I just keep it.

When I got the iPad something similar happened to my comic collection, as I just read comics digitally now and can download all the stuff I have, the comics are just sitting there on the shelf, taking up space. I'm torn between trying to sell them somehow as they probably have a little more value to some than obscure CDs but on the other hand I might want to keep them for a rainy night after the apocalypse has killed the Internet and North Korean EMP bombs have rendered my electronic devices useless.

In one way it feels a bit sad as I often have memories attached to the stuff and can remember when (and what I was thinking) I ordered and got the CD/Comic/Book and a sense of accomplishment as the collection was growing bigger. Nowadays it's way too easy to find most stuff online without any real effort more than google or an iTunes search and it's a process that's basically the same every time. Now my "stuff" is all digital and sitting on a harddrive without anything physical to touch, sort and fondle with. I used to enjoy going through the stuff from time to time and figuring out how to sort it the best way, but moving folders around on a computer is just a hassle that feels like work without any enjoyment.

I don't want to come across as a technology hostile Salaryman, all in all the the joy of physical stuff is outweighed by the convenience of the digital age. But the collector in me was rudely woken up, killed, dragged outside, mutilated and hung in a streetlight as a warning to others... What's the challenge in collecting when everything is readily available and easy to reproduce (control+C...)?

However, just recently I realized that the collector had reawakened in me again, although this time directed towards the exciting world of... ... ... cables! With all the electronical devices in the house, I have accumulated a significant range of cables for all imaginable purposes and recently got these two babies for the house and as I unpacked the stuff and felt satisfaction looking at them I realized that these are the depths that I have sunk to now... Is this what is has come to?

(I actually got the pink one for Mrs. Sunshine and initally felt a bit miffed when she didn't share in my excitement of the convenient and stylish power outlet (with USB ports!))

Hitting The Motherlode

"War Outlawed!" - Why didn't we think of this before?!

Ooops, it looks like it's been over a month since I last posted again... Well, now I can now reveal one of the big reasons why I have been a bit distracted a bit lately (as if two small kids wasn't enough of a reason...). Again I will venture out on new adventures and I am quitting my current job at the big US corporation for something a bit closer to home.

I will be starting to work for a German based healthcare consultant as their man in Japan, assisting their European clients in building relationships in Japan in the field of healthcare (pharma, devices, hospital planning etc.). The firm is so small that we'll only be two people working in Japan so a big change from the large firm I am working for now. The firm is so small that there is no legal entity in Japan and I will be under a contract directly with the German office, this has the main benefit that I will be subject to German working conditions. This means a significantly longer vacation per year while still lifting Japan competitive salary, basically the best of both worlds! Also, frequent business trips back to Europe will make it a lot easier to get back home from time to time and bring the family to use up all that vacation time. No more early morning or late night teleconferences with the US east coast either sounds pretty nice too.

As I no longer will have any Japanese colleagues I am actually starting to get a little bit worried about fitting in in a non-Japanese work environment... A mini-organization in Japan also means that I do not have to put up with all the politics and stuff that comes with it, but also that I will have to do all the stuff myself as no one will be there to help out.

The timing is not perfect though as I actually was enjoying the work at the big US corp and with just a little under two years in I had started to establish my base of power from which to further extend my reign of petty terror, but opportunities like these are very rare so I decided to take the jump again. 

That's the quick update, if not particularly funny, as I will soon have more time to spare in between the jobs you can expect a little more frequent posting from me in the coming weeks!

It kills everything

Even Superman mixes things up sometimes

I work with health care and have done so basically all of my career. One of the pillars of health care is clinical evidence based on medical science. Basically whenever a new treatment is proposed, it needs to prove itself through scientifically solid evidence that it is better or comparable to the currently available treatment (even if that is doing nothing). I'm inherently skeptical towards any "alternative" treatments like homeopathy, "healing" or prayers as no evidence up to date has shown any favorable outcomes and although the patients health might not negatively be impacted, someone is preying on the gullibility of the sick.

Generally my colleagues agree with me and are sensible in this, but I have often been engaged in discussion on the topic of using face masks to avoid getting a cold. The Japanese often use the masks in the belief that it actually helps in preventing getting a cold although no evidence exist that using the flimsy masks that the Japanese use actually improves the end-point here; getting a cold or not. Until there is any evidence I will continue to refuse to wear a mask.

Around a year ago one of my colleagues, Mr. Short, had purchased some form of "bacteria killer" device, I am unsure on exactly how it was supposed to function, but it was worn around the neck and supposedly would kill off bacteria in the general vicinity and thus protect the wearer from nasty bugs. This initiated some friendly discussion on whether it actually worked or not with me checking up on it on Internet and not finding any evidence apart from the manufacturer's own lab testing (which might or might not be correct, but it's all meaningless anyway unless it actually can prove to reduce the number of times the wearer gets sick). My colleague insisted that he thought it would work, but relented to the fact that he had no evidence to back him up.

The topic was forgotten about until last week, when he was suffering from a particularly nasty cold but still came into the office (wearing a mask, of course). This made me remember the anti-bacteria talisman thing from earlier. The conversation went something like this.
Mr. Salaryman: (genuinely curious) Oh yeah, what happened to that thing you wore around your neck, are you still using that? Wasn't that supposed to stop you from getting sick?
Mr. Short: (silent for a few seconds) ... no, I stopped wearing it...
Mr. Salaryman: (sending amusement) Oh really? How come?
Mr. Short: (embarrassed) Well, apparently it stopped selling it as it proved to be a little too efficient and could pose a danger to small children and you know that I have small kids, so...
Mr. Salaryman: (cannot refrain from rubbing it in) Huh? There you go, so I was right in the end, better to wait for some real evidence, huh?
Mr. Short: Yes, you were right, next time I'll wait for at least some evidence before getting a thing like that...

...I do however overuse nose-spray on occasion despite the overwhelming evidence that it's not good to do so...

...no baby, but not too far off...

Daddy? Is that you?

The other day, I was sitting in the sofa with the iPad reading the comments on my latest post with 2 1/2 y.o. toddler Sunshine sitting next to me. As I was scrolling down the screen she screamed out with glee andpointed at the "Our Mumbai Escorts" picture I used in my last post, happily exclaiming "Mommy!" (more specifically, the right one "Rina"). As a parent, I felt that I needed to set her straight with a "No baby, that's not Mommy, that's... someone else..." after which she went back to doing whatever she was doing.

Apparently a few days earlier she had been going through one of Mrs. Sunshine's fashion magazine and stopped at a one page advertisement with a sweaty hunk staring horny into the camera, happily exclaiming "Daddy!".

I guess I can say that I probably am closer to a sweaty hunk than Mrs. Sunshine is to an Indian prostitute at least, but that might be stretching it... 

The year of the snake 2013!

That's not a normal snake? Is it a cobra?

Considerably later than other years so far on this blog, but I thought I should give it a shot to try and summarize 2012. As the remaining readers of this blog obviously have figured out, other prioritizes made my blogging schedule irregular to say the least. The start of the year I was kept busy by Toddler Sunshine, Mrs. Sunshine's late stage pregnancy and trying to get into the job I started in the summer the previous year, after the birth of Baby Salaryman things just passed by in a bit of a blur. 

Biggest Event of 2012 was of course the birth of Baby Salaryman, born to restore balance to the battle of the genders in the Salaryman household and ensure that my name lives on for eternity in the island of Japan. May his seed burn strong and brightly.

Biggest Revelation of 2012 is much harder to pinpoint... Looking back, it feels like most of the year was spent looking after kids or working with not much in between. Of course, seeing the Avengers movie in the movie theater was great, there came out some good new music as well, thinking especially of Agent Side Grinder with the song Wolf Hour and old school EBM band Orange Sector with the hit Der Maschinist, the comeback of Daybehavior, but nothing that really changed how I view the world.

Biggest Staying Power in 2012 was the iPad, the little tablet has not gotten me bored with it yet. In fact, I like it so much that I upgraded to the newer iPad during last year (the one with the faster processor) after some negotiating with Mrs. Sunshine ("Do you really really need it?" "Well..." "If you really really need it and you absolutely must have it you can buy it, but there are other stuff we need..." "Ok, thanks, I'll buy it then!"). To toddler Sunshine's delight, this means that we now ended up with three iPads in the household and one that she has claimed her own. I have even seriously considered getting one of those water proof iPad bags so I can bring it in the bath with me as well. I'm still waiting for the toilet model of the iPad as well.

Best Blog of 2012 is also really hard as I have not found any new particularly interesting ones and for my favorite ones both Corinne and Chris have run into a bit of a blogging fatigue similar to mine it looks like. Former "Green Eyed Geisha" started a new blog that I was looking forward to, but the posts there also stopped coming. Kamo with the blog This is how she fight starts is the most interesting thing to pop up in 2012 (but not sure if I actually started reading it in 2011?). Even if I am embarrassed to say that my commenting manners is lacking, I still check out Project Me and was happy to see Ninja Without a Clue make a comeback in posting.

Keep at it, it'll get better with time!

Favorite Comment Dropper of 2012 is the people behind Mumbai/Dehli Escorts who ferociously started leaving comments on my posts advertising their exclusive services. In the beginning I deleted them as soon as they came up, but their eagerness to drop comments won me over and I decided to let them be (at least on older posts). As an interesting tidbit it can be mentioned that I have very few visitors from India, I have myself never been there with no plans to go and I doubt that many of my readers visit India often and even if they did they would not trust those guys with their physical needs. Good work Mumbai escorts and happy 2013!

Other Stuff that kept me Entertained in 2012 was (to my surprise) the King of Thrones TV-series, it's rare to see fantasy done well but this show has pulled it off. The Walking Dead TV-series and comic has kept its staying power, but ultimately they all still lose out to a classic like The Wire (which I started re-watching during autumn and still working my way through). Some good games came out as well in 2012, thinking particularly of Mass Effect 3 (I was ok with the ending), Dishonored and the remake of X-Com. But still, nothing like Skyrim from 2011...

To all my readers, a belated Happy New Year and wish you all a fantastic 2013! This year happens to be the Year of the Snake, something that is supposed to be good, contrary to what the Western image of snakes would make you think...      

Japanese New Year's TV

Last year's "Stewardess training" version!

(This time I'll keep myself from apologizing for the long time between postings, the little offspring and work has kept me quite busy and what little energy I have had left has been spent in other places than this blog. In the coming months I hope to be able to get up and running at a slightly better pace though, I do not intend to stop this blog)

Although the annual new year holidays this year came in quite nice with a full week of from work, the Salaryman family decided to stay put in Japan as the two small kids and the excessive price hikes from the travel agencies/airlines make vacation outside Japan a bit difficult. Instead, we braved the train crowds and packed us on the shinkansen train to Mrs. Sunshine's grandmother's place in Kobe for a traditional Japanese new year.

There's very little I actually like about the traditional Japanese new year celebration, the food is not to my liking, not much is actually done and I have no emotional attachment to any of the traditions. But at least it's a break in the pace from everyday life and Mrs. Sunshine's family were more than happy to give us a break and entertain toddler Sunshine and baby Salaryman for us. 

Then there's the TV... The big Japanese TV tradition for new year is to watch the annual song contest "Kohaku" were all the biggest music start of the year gets divided into two teams and somehow "compete" against each other. Basically it's just a show with live performances one after another and as neither J-pop nor enka is anything that I listen to unless forced to it's a combination of dull, boring and uninteresting. 

However... At the same time as Kohaku is going on, there is another TV show that also traditionally runs every new year... The show is, roughly translated, called "This is no kid's play - You're not allowed to laugh". It is pre-recorded, runs for about six hours and does not in the slightest acknowledge the strike of twelve and the start of the new year, just carries on. The show is hosted by the comedy duo "Downtown" and features them and four other comedians. The basic concept is that the group is put in absurd situations around them for a period of a full 24 hours and are not allowed to laugh, the location and theme varies each year. If anyone in the group laughs, a loud "OUT!" is announced and a bunch of guys dressed in fatigues, berets and black balaclavas armed with rubber batons run in and proceeds to give each of those who laughed a hard spanking after which they quickly run out of picture again. 

The show is definitely an acquired taste, it is extremely stupid, however to dismiss it on the grounds of being "stupid" is a huge mistake as the whole point of the show is to revel in stupidity. I admit to mistakenly taking this stance for quite a few years until I realized that the level and intensiveness of the stupidity somehow creates comedic brilliance! The amount of effort put into it and level of people the producers manage to recruit into doing some extremely stupid character with the only purpose of making the group laugh so they can get a spanking is amazing. It does help to have a decent knowledge of Japanese celebrities, pop stars, comedians and actors as well known and respected people turn up in the most absurd roles. On occasion they have even roped in well known politicians to participate in the absurdity. Of course, to fully appreciate the show, a certain level of Japanese knowledge is required, but even without it some of the brilliance can glimpse through.

So, I sit through the Kohaku on new year's eve but take comfort in that the big TV event of the year is recorded at home. Me and Mrs. Sunshine, not having the comfort of being able to sit through 6 hours of TV in one sitting, work our way through it in bite sized chumps over January. Toddler Sunshine watches us laughing perplexed but sometimes join in just for the sake of it.

It might be hard to get an image of what this really is about and what's so great about the show from reading my poor synopsis above, but here you can find the whole of this year's show streaming. Skip through the studio talk and straight into it and you just might understand what I am talking about!   

It's just not funny anymore...

Who will best represent MY interests? Maybe that little guy...

If I wanted to, I feel pretty certain that I could get Japanese citizenship fairly easy now as I have permanent residence and now also sprouted two offspring that are Japanese. However, as life is going pretty well without it and I have so far yet to run into any situation where I have felt that being a Japanese citizen would make things easier, nor encountered any blatant discrimination due to my Swedish citizenship. 

The big thing with citizenship is of course that you get to have a vote in the elections, however considering the current state of Japanese politics it feels more like a relief than anything that I am not allowed to vote in the upcoming December general election and having to take some form of responsibility for the outcome...

In the past I've posted a bit on the new splinter groups from various parties that have emerged the last years (see post here). At that point it was ridiculous and depressing, but still a bit funny. However, now that Ishihara and Hashimoto have thrown their masterful minds together headlining another new party the fun is all gone and now it's just depressing. 

The Liberal Democratic Party had a golden chance this election to show that their loss in the previous election had made them take a critical look at themselves and removed the excess fat that the complacency after all those long years in power is now gone and they are once again hungry and revitalized. However, what do they do? They elect former one-year Prime Minister Abe as the party chairman, the guy that started the whole "Japanese-one-year-Prime-Minister" thing that has been going on the last six years...

The Democratic party is in disarray, splintering into infighting groups with no evidence that they would be better prepared for a second term than the first one that turned into a massive fiasco with revolving door Prime-Minister and Cabinet change and fighting within the party.

What remains apart from the clownshow of new parties, LDP and DPJ is the Communist party and the religious Buddist party New Komeito.

There's hardly even a lesser evil here, it's all bad across the board and the only good news is that since I'm not a citizen I do not have to make the choice here. Mrs. Sunshine does not have this luxury however and is trying to figure out who will do the least amount of damage... 

For the sake of full disclosure, it should however be mentioned that I have on rare occasions accepted tissue paper handouts from party representatives loitering around the station as I enter the Communting War on weekday mornings.

A $2 dollar ambulance

Our ambulance wasn't this fancy

Ooops, I just realized that it's been almost a month since my previous post... To my defense I can say that even though the horrible heat of summer is gone, Japan has now entered the probably worst season of the year; late autumn. This is the time of year when the bugs are all over the place and commuting by train is a surefire way to catch most of them.

After a spending a week in the US East Coast in work (and ruining basically two full weeks due to the extremely painful jetlag that 13hrs time difference gives) I came back just in time for the cold and catching a few of them as well. In turns, the whole Salaryman family has been sick at one point or another and in the fantastic team spirit that we have, we do it in relay form, shipping it forward to the next person to make sure that someone is sick at all times for a little over a month now. Being sick myself is no fun, but on the other hand, having a sick Toddler Sunshine or Baby Salaryman is not much fun either and a sick Mrs. Sunshine leaves the two kids all under my supervision which is almost as exhausting as it is being sick. Most of the times two members of the family have been sick as well...

It started with Toddler Sunshine catching a fever a few weeks ago. The first day she was ok in the morning, although obviously feverish. Mrs. Sunshine took her to the clinic where she received some nice suppositories (glad I don't need those) while I was off to work. During work I get some mails from Mrs. Sunshine with health updates, each getting a little worse than the next as her fever had gone up past 40 degrees. By the end of the day she was getting really worried and was drifting in and out of consciousness. As we both have the view that it's better to call the ambulance one time too many than one time too few she called the ambulance as I was on my way home.

I arrived home just in time for the ambulance arriving and Toddler Sunshine looked alarmingly out of it. The paramedics were great though and took her and me and Mrs. Sunshine with us in the ambulance. Just to embarrass us Toddler Sunshine started coming back to life when in the ambulance, still highly feverish but looking curiously around and responding to us talking to her. After some cursory check-ups the ambulance took off, with the red lights and siren on (giving the Mama Mafia much to speculate on the next day) taking us to the closest hospital with an open pediatric emergency ward. 

As we arrived to the hospital, Toddler Sunshine decided to make us look even more the fools by waking up a bit more and actually giving out a laugh or two between looking sick. The emergency doc checked her up and quickly declared that "this is not an emergency, I'll give her something for the fever but you can go back home". I was slightly annoyed that he didn't run at least a few tests just for the sake of it, but as we were happy to see that she was seemingly getting better we did not push our luck and went out to pay the bill.

I was expecting a hefty sum due to the ambulance, even though the insurance coverage is available in Japan, it does not cover all expenses and it can sometimes be quite costly. However, I was presented with a grand bill of 200 yen ($2 USD) which I paid, thinking that the rest of the cost was being calculated and would be invoiced to us later on or. However when I told Mrs. Sunshine this she matter-of-factly stated that the children's insurance coverage in the area we live cover basically all the cost and the maximum amount that we ever have to pay is 200 yen. 

To me, this has opened up completely new opportunities! Instead of calling a taxi or driving ourselves, we will now try to call an ambulance instead under the pretense that one of the kids are sick and insist on that they take us to a hospital close to where we want to go. I do pay taxes here after all so it should be within my right!

Commuter Terrorists - The Dive Bomber

When he comes crashing down...

One of the most valuable things that you can hope to achieve in the commuter hell is an available seat. Having a seat means that you are shielded from the battle raging back and forth among the poor sods standing in front of you. A seat can mean the difference between a horrible ride and a reasonably comfortable one. The Sleeper Agents may try to invade your space, but they are reasonably easy to repel most of the time.

Having a seat usually gives two hands free to pick up the iPad, book, gaming device or phone to read a magazine, book, play a game or watch a movie compared to how both hands often are needed when standing just to be able to remain standing due to the ebb and flow of the passengers as the train accelerates, brakes, twist and turn. The seat is sacred and worth fighting for. Experienced Subway Warriors know this and respect what the seat stands for and the personal space it provides.

However, one Commuter Terrorist that you can encounter is the Dive Bomber... The Dive bomber sees an open seat next to you, often an available seat with limited space between two sitting Subway Warriors. The Dive Bomber turns around and very ungracefully dumps his ass (female Dive Bombers are very rare as most a larger than average body size is required) with horrible accuracy, half ending up in your lap with quite some force, before he roughly goes ahead to squeeze himself down in the seat. Sometimes some Terrorists starts off as Dive Bombers and when comfortably squeezed in the seat, turn into Sleeper Agents...

On the other hand, inexperienced commuters can often be identified by how carefully they check behind them (often profusely apologizing) and lower their behind in slow-motion, careful to not accidentally touch any of the passengers on either side of the seat they are targeting. These amateurs are slightly annoying but at least try to do their best to not invade any personal space.

However a true Subway Warrior has perfected the sitting down into a work of art. You can tell an experienced Subway Warrior from the way he/she sits down in a seat with limited space. Basically the move from standing to basically pouring oneself down in the seat in one fluid motion, quickly and if brushing the persons on either side ever so slightly, quickly compensating to just pour into place.

For those of you reading this and are dedicated to the Way of the Subway Warrior, my advice to you on how to master the art of sitting down on the train is: 

Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like Teflon. Empty your mind, be formless, frictionless — like Teflon. Be Teflon, my friend. 

The true face of fear...

You shouldn't have gone on the slide before the change!

After I became a father, first to toddler Sunshine and then Baby Salaryman my priorities in life has changed radically. My outlook to life is probably about the same, but having kids has changed the way I look upon life. The biggest change is of course that it's not all about me anymore, of course Mrs. Sunshine and the family has always been important, but in the end they can take care of themselves. With small children you have to watch out for them and put their needs ahead of your own.

My fears have also changed considerably. Before I had children, my greatest fear was perhaps becoming paralyzed after a horrible accident, getting a nasty form of brain cancer or something similar. 

However, now, my greatest fear is realizing that Toddler Sunshine just did a nasty poo, reaching for the diaper only to have her running away giggling, getting on a slide and slowly making her way down applying great friction to her butt and turning a somewhat nasty, but salvageable, situation into a clean-up nightmare...

(Also for some reason Mrs. Sunshine strongly dislikes it when I measure the fecal output of Toddler Sunshine in estimation of grams as it reminds her of packages of minced meat, which is oddly enough what I use in my head for comparison... Women are odd...) 

  

Kim Jong Un Sends Autographs to Officials and Workers of Various Units

(First of all, again, sorry for the lack of posting! Some travel in work resulting in over two weeks of continuous jet-lag made the blog suffer a bit. Also, sorry for starting to use the annoying word verification when writing comments but recently I've gotten flooded with over 50 spam comments a day...) 

A recent hot news from the KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY of DPRK that I felt was too good to not share with you all:

Pyongyang, October 4 (KCNA) -- The dear respected Kim Jong Un sent autographs to officials and other workers at various units and teachers and students on Sept. 13 and 27 after reading their letters.

In the letters they expressed their determination to make a dynamic advance in close unity under the leadership of the party, bearing deep in mind warm love and trust shown by the great men of Mt. Paektu.

Among them were officials and employees of the Tanchon Area General Mining Bureau, the construction site of Orangchon Power Station, Electric Power Designing Institute No. 1, Pyongyang Tangogi Restaurant, Phyongnam Noodle Restaurant and the Wheat Cake Stuffed with Roast Chicken Shop of the Kumsong Foodstuff Factory and builders and teachers and students of Sibyon Secondary School of Thosan County, North Hwanghae Province.
In the letters they reflected their ardent reverence and loyalty to Marshal Kim Jong Un who helps them make a leaping advance with the same loving care as that shown by Generalissimos Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il.

They vowed to invariably follow Kim Jong Un to repay for his loving care in the road of successfully carrying forward the revolutionary cause of Juche started on Mt. Paektu in keeping pace with his footsteps despite any storm and stress.

They wholeheartedly wished Marshal Kim Jong Un good health for the eternal prosperity of Songun Korea and happiness of all generations to come, representing the best wishes of all servicepersons and people.

(Seriously, I don't think any witty comment I could write here would make it more funny than it already is, so I won't)

Visits from the Overlords

I've been working in the Japanese subsidiary of a foreign company now for almost ten years. During this time I've quit often had visitors from global functions in the head office come visit us in Japan for various purposes. Most of the time customer visits are scheduled for these visits. Taking non-Japanese people from global functions to visit customers can be an interesting and sometimes terrifying experience, all depending on how Japan experienced and/or culturally sensitive the person is. 

Although I could generalise the ease in terms of country of origin of the visitor, based on my experience, the most critical point is the personality and attitude of the visitor. Some people are overly concerned about adhering to Japanese business etiquette, having devoured books about the "do's" and "don't do's" before their visits, usually resulting in awkwardness as the person is trying too hard to bow just the right angle, trying to mimic the way Japanese hand over business cards only to get it wrong (wrong side towards speaking partner is a common mistake). I've even met people who, before their visit, have had business cards in faulty Japanese printed (usually resulting in giggles)...

Generally, most Japanese customers welcome visitors from the head office,some because they find it fun or interesting to meet foreigners, some because they realise that the people from the head office are our (i.e. Japanese subsidiary) overlords with deeper pockets and the power to start projects that could benefit them. Very rarely does a customer decline a request from us to set up a meeting/visit and sometimes it can be actively demanded from us. However, from the local subsidiary perspective it can sometimes create problems...

For your education and possible amusement, I've here compiled profiles over the most difficult visitors.

1. The Over-Enthusiastic Promise Giver

These guys/gals are usually really excited about being in Japan, meet our customers and can't wait to work with them. Their intent is usually very good but problems can come when they start to promise A) Stuff that the Japan team are not able to deliver on (budget or legal restraints) or B) Stuff that they have not properly secured in HQ and later casually cancel via an e-mail to us... These guys/gals don't realise that promises are not given casually in Japan and can cause us significant distress and efforts in cleaning up afterwards and trying to find ways to compensate the customer for the disappointment and problems caused by the broken promise(s).

2. The Japan "Veteran"

These guys are thankfully few and in-between but I have encountered these on occasion, almost always in senior management positions. This type has visited Japan countless times and believe that they know exactly what they're doing and have no need to learn anything more. This type is often loud and abrasive towards the customer (even though they dial it down a little compared to their domestic attitude). Some of these are so confident in their cultural proficiency that they sprinkle in Japanese words and use "-san" as a suffix to names, but fail to use it the appropriate way... In the best case they are merely considered as "odd".

3. The "Just-like-home" Guy/Gal

This group of people is relatively common. Although the above type 1 might have been trying a little too hard in understanding Japanese business culture, this character has not been trying at all. If anything, he/she does not understand why things cannot be done exactly like home. Although slightly annoying, they usually do not cause any huge problems as the customers might not understand what the person is going on about but chalks all breaches of etiquette up to "I guess that's how he/she does it at home". In terms of fallout, it's usually quite easily managed by an additional visit from the Japanese team to explain what the person actually meant and then things can continue as usual.

The people that I find easiest to bring to Japanese customers are those who don't try too hard. Of course, being nonchalant, slouching in the chair etc. is a big no-no, but people who smile, listen to the other person speaking and behaving calmly and friendly are easy to bring t customers and hardly ever create any problems.

Down in the Cave

Again, sorry about the lack of posting and commenting on people's blogs, a combination of business at work, busy at home with the small kids and the return of the summer heat keep my energy pretty low...

While walking home from the train today I had my iPod on, listening to an old playlist and the song Nine While Nine by the Sisters of Mercy started playing. Although I hold the song as one of the best songs ever made it's so firmly implanted in my mind that I rarely feel like I need to listen to it.

It made me recall a hot summer night close to 15 years ago when I was visiting Tokyo with a bunch of friends and a late night in the Shinjuku Kabukicho me and my buddy Henrik found a hole in the wall place that we thought seemed interesting due to the post-punk music band posters plastered around the entrance. The place was called "The Cave" if I'm not mistaken. My buddy was a guitar based indie music kinda guy while I was more of an EBM-head (Industrial music) but we had a common ground in that we both liked the classic old school goth bands.

The place was empty except for the bartender managing the place and was literally only 5 or so seats at the bar counter. The drinks were expensive as we were students, but for some reason this night we didn't care that much. The bartender handed us a book with a huge list of the songs she had on CD so we could pick which ones she should play. I remember me picking Nine While Nine and both of us agreeing that it was the best song ever made, we spent over 2 hours there drinking and going through Joy Division, The Cure, Siouxe and the Banshees and other post-punk goth bands although I remember some debate erupting as to whether the Fields of the Nephilim was good or not (me arguing for, him against).

Nothing particularly exciting or interesting happened that night, no girls, no strange encounters, just us listening to the music and talking; mostly about the music. Still, for some reason it's one of the nights out in Tokyo I remember the best. Good times.  

Involuntary Education

The choreography was probably from an app

There is a certain type of mother that is infamous here in Japan; the "Education Mom" (教育ママ). The Education Mom's are known for their extreme focus on the education of their kids, starting from a young age and drilling the kids to get into the right kindergarten so it then can get into the right elementary school, right high-school and then finally, the most prestigious university. These are the types of parents who put their kids in all kinds of cram schools and putting pressure on the kids to get the highest grades from a very early age. I guess it's not a uniquely Japanese thing as these kinda parents exist all over the globe, but I would think that there's more of them in Asia with the focus on education (as exemplified by the whole Tiger Mom deal).

Needless to mention, me and Mrs. Sunshine does not take this approach. As toddler Sunshine is just a little over two years now our efforts in educating her are very mild and more focused on getting her to say "thank you" and "please" with very little to show for it. However, the iPad is packed with apps for her to play with, some puzzles, annoying songs, simple games but also some educational apps on English, counting and learning the ABC. 

The other day we were standing in an elevator and had just pushed the button to the floor  we were going to when Toddler Sunshine happily started pointing at the numbers and reading them, later in the day during dinner she started spelling out the text written on her plate (a Hello Kitty plate if you must know) shocking both me and Mrs. Sunshine. 

This is fantastic news for us though as we can just let the iPad handle all her education and we don't have to bother sitting down with her and going through numbers and the alphabet! We can just outsource all of that to the iPad. The next thing I need to start looking for is if there are any apps out there that can teach her to become an ethical responsible adult as that seems to be a real hassle to teach. Although most urgently I am hoping to find an app that either teaches her to change her own diapers or one that trains her on the potty!