Tuesday, March 13, 2012

My deep dark secret...

Sounds like he did very likely
Many of us carry around big dark secrets that never gets revealed. I too have a dark secret that very few people know about... Mrs Sunshine is one of the few people who knows but most of my family and close friends have no idea... As I'm doing this blog anonymously I thought I should just get it off my chest and reveal it here to my readers.

I cannot burp... It doesn't matter what I eat or drink, I still won't burp, ever. I can't remember ever having burped properly. What happens instead is that I feel a pressure building up in my stomach and travelling up towards my mouth. What I do when this happens is to lean my head backward and open my mouth. Instead of a burp, what comes out is a long sound that sounds like I would imagine a herbivore dinosaur's mating call would sound like, and it usually lasts for several seconds. After letting it out I feel a bit better.

Mrs Sunshine found out the hard way at one point some time into our relationship as I tried to do this discreetly but she heard the sound. "Are you ok and what's that sound?" she asked with concern in her voice making me reveal my secret to her. Now she has gotten used to it coming from me from time to time, sometimes she giggles, but I think that's just her defence mechanism.

Sometimes I worry that I might have passed on this blessing and curse to Toddler Sunshine. It's a heavy burden to carry...

9 comments:

Chris said...

I Knew something was wrong with you!!
I KNEW IT!!!!
You freak......dear god..


**walks away to shower hoping the grime will wash off?**

Anonymous said...

OMG Mr Salaryman, I thought I was the only person in the world with this affliction!! We should start a support group.

Martin said...

Wow, I had no idea. A well kept secret indeed.

XJ said...

If it makes you feel better I can't barf. I seriously can not! I have tried... all I can get, if anything is a bit of drool from hanging over the toilet. This is especially horrible when I have the flu or back in the day when I would drink too much. I would suffer the booze instead of insta-relief. :< Only my husband knows I can't barf.

Anonymous said...

wow thats some secret o.o

Gerard K. Dirkins said...

I'm capable of burping, but not on command. Not such a handicap now, but was in junior high school.

Lisa said...

I am the world's champion at burping loudly. My kids are so embarrased that their mum can do such a thing. I know, it's so uncultured, but sometimes it feels really good to let out a huge belch!

Mr. Salaryman said...

Chris - You? You of all people, I thought YOU would understand (runs away sobbing)

Anon - We really should! We could call it "non-burpers anonymous"?

Martin - Oh, you must have known deep inside? Didn't you ever notice that I never participated in any burping contests? I just never could...

XJ - Hmmm... I don't really want to barf often so I kinda would like to trade with you?

Gerard - Well, you've got it easy! On command was one thing, but never being able to is another thing...

Lisa - I envy you! Go for it, show the world what you can do!

Anonymous said...

For all the weird japanese tidbits in your blog, this one is by far your weirdest.

I mean, what the hell, man? Have you considered learning how to burp properly?

You know, for educational purposes, of course.

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