Friday, April 20, 2012

The end of the line

I'd go with hanging?
Earlier today I found myself a bit early for an appointment with a customer. The customer is located a bit out of central Tokyo and this time I didn't catch a ride with the local rep and got there on my own. I didn't mind since the hospital was easy to find and the weather was really nice, but with 30 minutes to kill and no Starbucks in the immediate vicinity I hesitated for a while whether to wait inside the hospital waiting lobby with all the sick people and have to look sharp and alert as it's obvious from the suit and the tie that I'm not there to get treated. After a little hesitation, I instead headed to the park just across.

I found myself a comfortable bench, sat down, enjoyed the nice weather and started to write a mail to Mrs. Sunshine and didn't really look around until after about 10 minutes or so. On the benches surrounding me I saw one (probably) relatively clean homeless guy, one other Salaryman looking really sad and one elderly woman out to enjoy the weather. The playground was very empty and silent.

Salarymen and parks have a very special relationship and one I didn't fully consider before I sat down on the bench. Sitting in a park is basically the death sentence for a salaryman, the only salarymen who sit in parks are the ones who are complete failures; have no more customer to visits but cannot return to the head office because they are expected to be out visiting customers... Basically, if you're a Salaryman and sitting in a park, you're done for. The only things that you might consider while sitting in a park is the best way to off yourself and still make sure that the family gets the insurance money, despite your failure to provide.

I quickly left the bench and went inside the hospital instead, I had to look sharp but at least the rep showed up quickly...

11 comments:

Chris said...

How come Corrine's got 100 comments and you got no love? I love you bro!!
Your the must upstanding bench loser I ever knew ;)

If you start beating your wife and post about it the flood of comments will come.....is it worth it?

Hell Yeah!!!

Hit her with a fist or open handed old school stuff? THAT's the question



**I hope she doesn't read this by the way** ;)

Will said...

You've totally shattered my illusions of the park-dwelling salarymen. I was under the misguided impression that they were 'looking busy' by being out of the office. Around here, people have been rumored to take time off for pachinko whilst running errands.
My bad.

kathrynoh said...

Yeah I always wonder when I see salarymen sitting in a bench. And, yeah, they do always look sad.

I've seen quite a few at karaoke in the middle of the day too. Alone in their karaoke booth -- prolly belting out "My Way!"

Martin said...

Wouldnt Harakiri be more appropriet and honorable than hanging?

kamo said...

For the full effect, next time ditch the briefcase and carry all your samples around in a couple of old carrier bags. Maybe take along an extra one filled with nothing but bits of string. You never know when you might need a bit of string.

Anonymous said...

You should have consoled that salaryman. No further comment.

Evacomics said...

No sakura to pretend that you're having hanami?

Evacomics said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Salaryman said...

Chris - Yeah, I just have to accept that I was last weeks flavor, Corinne's all the rage now. An upbeat domestic abuse blog could be something though, maybe the next big thing and I should try to get ahead!

Will - Pachinko salarymen are a different breed! Those have money to burn so those are the effecient guys who get stuff done and then burn some money and time in the pachinko parlor, the park salarymen are a different breed...

Kathrynoh - I'd say that the Karaoke Salarymen are the same as the Pachinko, no need to feel sorry for them, they're probably really enjoying themselves (although alone, but a lot of the karaoke crowd are actually quite good singers and put in some practice sessions...)

Martin - No, way too dignified and traditional. Hanging is the classic timeless way to go, for young and old, rich and poor!

Kamo - But a Salaryman without a briefcase is not really a Salaryman? What a dilemma here you have shown me...

Anon - Thank you, appreciate the comment and hope to hear no further comments from you!

Eva - Good point Eva, the Cherry blossom could be the only exception when it's acceptable to hang out in parks as a Salaryman!

Chris said...

"An upbeat domestic abuse blog could be something though"

LOL@ That line :)

I see a mega niche'!!!

Anonymous said...

haha you kill me

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