Monday, July 2, 2012

Well hello Mr. Fancypants!

Not quite this fancy...
Recently I have managed to stay mostly clear of the creepy security guard (see post here) and almost forgotten that he roamed the hallways of the company headquarters.

However, today, as I was walking through the corridors on my way from a meeting, thinking about one issue that had came up and not completely aware of my surroundings I hear a voice call out "
Well, hello there Mr. Salaryman!". As I look up, I realize that Mr. Creepy Security guard is standing right in front of me with a big creepy smile. Slightly confused and surprised I mumble back "Hello, how are you?". He does a half step out of the way and as I pass by he says "that's some fancy pants you have on today", again confused I stop and turn to him and say "sorry, what?" to which he says "I said that's some nice fancy pants you have on today, really nice" and reaches out to touch them on my thigh... Even more confused and thrown completely off-guard I continue walk and says "You think, this is just ordinary pants you know...", behind me I hear "they're nice..." before I can turn a corner to safety.

For the sake of the matter it should be mentioned that the pants in question were quite regular dark cargo pants purchased at Uniqlo for a modest sum and can hardly be defined as "fancy" anyway you look at it.


A few minutes later I started to feel a bit sexually harassed.... Ok, the touching was very brief and superficial but also completely uncalled for. But I also feel that I brought it upon myself wearing those pants as I should realize that it will cause some people to react like this. I can't really blame him, I just have to take care to not wear as fancy pants to work.


But the laws of nature goes completely against it, I'm a pretty big Western (
at least semi-Western) guy working in Japan and if there's to be any sexual harassment around me I should be the one dealing it out or at least give my implicit approval to inappropriate comments about the female staff made from my colleagues. The world has turned upside down on me and now I need to start hiding from the Mr. Creepy Security Guard...

16 comments:

shadowzach00 said...

wow he is a real creeper!

Jay Dee said...

That's just wrong. Ugh.

Blue Shoe said...

"But I also feel that I brought it upon myself wearing pants as I should realize that it will cause some people to react like this."

Fixed.

Man, that is creepy. Hopefully that dude is just awkward and harmless creepy and not face-wearing creepy.

hardkoretom said...

That's very odd behavior. You should tell him "if that hand touches my leg again its lost, partner."

I don't even know how somebody could react to a situation like that. It makes me shivver with the creeps after that one.

Susie Eichel said...

I think you should have broken out in full dance and sung out, "You can't touch this!"

And I would feel creeped out too.

kamo said...

Assless chaps.

That is all.

TheOctopus said...

You must be wearing them wrong or something. I too encase my lower limbs in Uniqlo accoutrements and am constantly molested, on occasion veritably assaulted, by nubile young ladies wanting to have their wicked way with me.

shadowzach00 said...

have you thought about telling your boss about the creeper?

Chris said...

Ah...gay games in Japan. I guess the culture makes them get their jollies when and where they can. Dark corners dirty black market porn shops...and your office apparently.

Will said...

Pssst! It's the uniform. (How could Salaryman not have known... unless?)

Persianxrose said...

You're entries always make me smile! The title alone cracked me up.

Everytime my man gets hit on by another man, and he feels like a piece of meat or a bit used....I enjoy it! (not saying I enjoy your discomfort, I enjoy his because he dishes out a lot and it's nice to see karma in action) For a small moment a man finally goes through the annoying hell women go through all the time.

With that said...make a weird face. Anytime I feel uncomfy I make a weird face that freezes and freaks the guy out until he no longer even has the guts to look me anymore in fear that I'm crazy.

But most likely the guy is just bored, stuck in uniform, and socially ackward.

Good luck! Hopefully that's as uncomfy as that guy gets with you :-S

shadowzach00 said...

lol will

kathrynoh said...

He's so fucking with you :)

Anonymous said...

lol nice

Mr. Salaryman said...

First to all - Sorry for my slow response to comments! The heat and the baby drains my energy!

Jay Dee - Indeed!

Blue Shoe - Yeah, haven't really figured out if he's really creepy or just trying to be friendly and turning out creepy...

Hardkoretom - Well, I'd better not make enemies of the security guard unless I'm really sure that he wasn't just trying to be friendly...

Susie - I probably should, I think I know the dance too!

Kamo - Odd thing was that I wasn't wearing those at that specific day though?

Octopus - Those Uniqlo Penis/Pussy magnet pants?

Shadow - No, not at all as it's hardly that much of an issue, just slightly odd and creepy

Chris - Yeah, if I run into him at the gay bar's glory hole corner I will get really pissed off!

Will - But I don't get off on men in uniforms...?

Persian - Actually I can kinda relate to that, there's always some enjoyment to see someone receive some of their own medicine, especially since most guys are not used to it...

Kathryn - I can't rule that out either, he might have a quite good sense of humour in secret

weilong said...

I'm constantly being felt up/flashed/asked questions about my penis, but it's always schoolgirls or drunk old dudes. I wish just once a twenty-five year old woman would work up the courage to sexually harass me.

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