Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Commuter Terrorists - The Rageaholic Psycho

I thought that I had listed the worst of the worst so far in my Commuter Terrorists series, but after an encounter today, I realized that I had missed the most dangerous of them all...; the Rageaholic Psycho...

The Psycho basically takes all of the base characteristics of the previous mentioned terrorists and adds upon that violent reactions and a horrible temper. This guy really hates the commute, this guy really hates getting his personal space invaded, this guy really hates getting crotch-pressed, this guy hates it so much that he's GOING CRAZY over it!

Whereas the PA Pusher will start doing his thing when he's feeling some pressure applied to him, the Psycho is completely unreliable. He (again, I've only experienced males, but females might have their own sub-species of these) can react to a slight brush from behind (nowhere near a crotch-press) through violently pushing himself backward with considerable force. Throw his head backward quickly in the hopes of giving the person brushing up against him a piece of his skull in the face. This is often done in conjunction with muttered and mumbled talk on how the person is an idiot and should leave him the f**k alone. Sometimes the initial brush up annoys him so much that he can keep up the violent rocking and throwing of the head for several minutes even if considerable care is taken to stay away from him.

There are only two ways you can handle the Psycho - Fight or Flight. Pushing back will almost certainly lead to an escalation of things until the classic train fight breaks out (usually very half-assed due to packed train and using weapons such as briefcases, umbrellas etc. and usually hitting innocent bystanders more than the intended target until one or both gets off at a station and can slug it out).

Me, being a mild-mannered law-abiding Salaryman always use the "flight" option and might even resort to such terrorist actions as being a short-term Battering Ram to escape from the immediate area of the Psycho (hey, we can't all be Bad Boys) although I do admit that there has been occasions where I've felt the lure of the train rage myself when not being able to escape the Psycho...
(bonus points for those who can identify the person in the picture and extra bonus points to the one who can finish a quote from him that starts something like "When I see a pretty girl, one part of me wants to take her home, be nice and treat her right...")


Chris said...

I recognize that psycho!!
I studied serial killers at University

He was unusually tall and hated his mother...don't they all?...

Forgive my rage post. I am making sure there is NO doubt what will happen if a person does not keep his word. I left very little room for doubt didn't I :)

If "he" used his kids as human shields it would work. You just need to see my regular blog. I put my heart and soul into my School and the kids. I'd wait till they were not there and THEN beat the living crap outta him.

Thanks for adding me to the role. I promise some interesting reads.

Never a dull moment ;)

Anonymous said...

“When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things: One part of me wants to take her home, be real nice and treat her right; the other part wonders what her head would look like on a stick." – Edmund Kemper III

Chris said...

“When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things: One part of me wants to take her home, be real nice and treat her right; the other part wonders what her head would look like on a stick." – Edmund Kemper III

Great psycho quote. He has a Genius I.Q. I have one 4 pts higher than him. A lot of Serial Killers do have high I.Q.'s

Maybe this I.Q. thing needs be be taken a look at again ;)

Blue Shoe said...

Don't think I've seen this one firsthand, but I did see two salarymen fighting on a train platform once. Was kind of funny - they basically just swung their briefcases and tried to kick each other while also trying to stay out of each others' range. Maybe it started on the train.

Mr. Salaryman said...

Chris and Jamie - Wow, seems like this was way too easy, 'old Kemper is well known!

Blue Shoe - What you witnessed was for sure two Rageaholic psychos slugging it out, they're hardly MMA fighters when it comes down to it!

Foggia said...

I've encountered the female version once.
After a light push on her (packed train), she went berserk and threw her full body weight on the presumed assailant (a wrong guess on top). After a couple come and go and a sneak attack from some PA girls, she started talking to herself pretty loudly, blaming people's bad manners for the remainder of the trip (a couple more stations).
Fun times.

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