Sunday, July 10, 2011

Penis measurement - is this really appropriate?

Pump the reservoir
Last week I participated in a sales meeting in the new company, followed by a quite rowdy dinner. As the "new and foreign bird" I obviously drew quite a bit of attention to myself as people were curious on the foreign Salaryman that had suddenly joined them. For the most part it was all fun and games and in a good atmosphere.

However, with quite large beer consumption follows the call of nature and a few times I felt the need to relieve myself. As it was a quite big group, there usually was quite the crowd of fellow salarymen by the bathroom. After my turn came up, I relieved myself without giving it much thought and as I was going to wash my hands I heard a few voices behind me calling out. "Hey, Salaryman, you're a foreigner, but your penis is not that big at all? How come?". My first reaction was one of slight confusion as to whether I had actually heard right (and surprise that my penis had actually been closely observed), followed by the second disappointment in the knowledge of the anatomy of the male reproductive organ.

Without much delay I shouted back "Hey, yeah, maybe it's not that big now, but I'm just taking a piss you know, when it's ready for battle it grows in size and be thankful that you never will see that since it's quite the item!".

This is the life of a foreign Salaryman in Japan...

13 comments:

Chris said...

American company right??
Oh...fuck..God Bless America. If they weren't American then tell em' they're pretty lips are so womanly that your sure it would give you enough stimulation to set em straight...or set you straight I mean...

If they were American than...welcome to the company and hide your dick better when pissing ;)

kathrynoh said...

And I thought comments on the size of my boobs were bad!

daft said...

So the other guys at your company have been staring at your penis and taking notes.
Welcome to the company I guess?

BiggerInJapan said...

now it's time for some updates on the penis going to battle?

Will said...

There was an exchange student (not me) halfway between 6' and 7' (we are talking height) who didn't quite fit the mold here. He mentioned how he'd been minding his own business while visiting the urinal when a group of boys dutifully grabbed him by each arm, more or less picking him up and moving him back in order to check his equipment (which he still had both hands on in order to maintain his aim). This was one of those cases where you could say that a stereo-type was reinforced and a legend was born.

Martin said...

Wow, nice comment you managed there mr Salaryman.

I usually just say:
-"It´s not long - but very thin!"
or
-"It´s not big - but it smells alot!"

Sarahf said...

A "welcome to the company, now we get to analyse your penis size party". Nice. People don't usually wait until they're drunk before commenting on the boobs. Geez, they could at least buy me a drink!!

Fernando said...

He...I guess myr eaction would have been regarding your first shocking though...why the hell are they staring and your equipment?! I think my reaction would have been "What the hell...dpo you like it or something that you are so chatty about my pennis dude?"

old hippie said...

Now that was quite funny, and a great retort!

aimlesswanderer said...

You should have said "the wife and schoolgirl compensated dating mistress have no complaints, so why should you?".

Mr. Salaryman said...

Chris - Yep, American, but the penis people were all Japanese! And to think that I usually make an effort to not look at other people's penises at the urinoar...

Kathryn - Hahaha, c'mon, that's nothing, the boob size is usually clearly visible from a distance, my penis is usually quite hidden!

Daft - Maybe they have some form of registry and ranking?

BiJ - Well, let's just say it won't go down in the history books on either end of the spectrum, but it seems to be able to do the job!

Will - Wow, that sounds like sexual harrassment, if it had happened in the US he could probably have sued them blind.

Martin - Well, I did defend your penis size at one point in our lives!

Saraf - Yes, how refreshing it is here in Japan sometimes! When you're a foreigner no part of your body is sacred or private!

Fernando - Well, it was a bit of a shock actually, but I was more amused than upset or anything

Old - Thank you, thank you, I do what I can!

Aimless - Obviously the schoolgirl doing enjo-kosai would have no complaints unless it would be about the brand goods I would have to provide her with (and even then, smaller and quicker would probably be her preference...)

Rydangel said...

Nice comeback. I'd of told them it was just my japanese genes showing. 8p Honestly,
I don't know what I would have done in a similar situation. I don't understand the japanese facination with the physical differences of foreignors.

aimlesswanderer said...

I'm surprised that they didn't ask for certain measurements as part of the interview process - for purely work related reasons of course.

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