Live from the United States of America

Yours truly, Mr. Salaryman, has just arrived in the greatest nation on earth, slightly drunk from free airplane booze, but not overly so. Now sitting in an airline lounge and leeching off the free Internet and coffee. It feels great to be here, people are loud and fat and not thin and obnoxious like in France, I much prefer this.

So far I have interacted with aprox. 5-6 native United Stadians and none of them could speak proper English. I've also been allowed to have liquids in my carry on luggage from one of the security people because he had relatives from Japan and was impressed that I came from there.

I've also managed to make a few observations that I'd like to share with you since they might come in handy in your life as well, at one point or another. Two things that struck me so far and really made me realize that I'm actually in the US:
1. The bookstores are full of self-help and "political" books (usually with some varation of "America" and/or "American" in the title) with a sprinkle of Stephen King and Dan Brown books added in for good measure.
2. The wheelchairs are wide enough to seat at least 4 standard size Japanese Salarymen.
If you notice any of the two above, there is a high possibility that you might actually be in the US. I advise you to keep an eye open.

This will be a great time indeed.