Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Corporate garbage dump

One of the big ones...
Although the myth of Japanese companies offering "life-time employment" has since many years ago been crushed, I think it is fair to say that generally, the larger Japanese corporations are very reluctant to get rid of any staff unless in really dire straits. Also, ending up in such a situation where staff needs to be downsized is seen as a major failure and the last resort.

In my previous company, we had one guy who had been recruited from the healthcare subsidiare of such a major firm. The change was one from a very stable secure job to one of uncertainty and a solid history of several cycles of downsizing world wide. He seemed to be ok with this (although I doubt that he really understood what he was getting himself into...).

We are quite friendly and during a recent after-work drinks session I was a bit curious on the actual situation in the huge corporation he came from and where the completely useless and moronic people ended up. It went something like this:

Salaryman: So yeah, if someone's completely useless and they want to get rid of them, what do they usually do?
Friend: (upbeat) Well, they usually get sent down to one of the less prestigious subsidiaries!
Salaryman: (interested) Ok, but say that the person is so useless, although not doing anything that legally warrants the person to be fired?
Friend: (thoughtful) Well... I have heard of people like that... They usually just get bumped downwards in the corporate subsidiary hierarchy...
Salaryman: (curious) So, ok, but was there such a thing as the conglomerate toilet where all the useless turds ended up after being proven useless in all the other places?
Friend: (lightning up) Oh yeah! That was the subsidiary in charge of the facility maintenance! That's where all the morons ended up, that's the end of the line! They were completely useless and even managers there earned less than assistants in the healthcare company!

So, there you have it! If you encounter someone who works with facility management, they probably just haven't been flushed down properly!


BiggerInJapan said...

someone has to maintain the facilities, though!

Chris said...

That's the company in the Alien series....right?

Chris said...

Your not a big company until you have an official sounding toilet or closet to shove the morons in!!

I posted b4 I read because I wanted a cookie for being the 1st to note the evil company in the pic.

Anonymous said...

So if you were moved to the window seat in an office at a facilities management subsidiary, this would be an indication that you and life were just meant to be?

Mr. Salaryman said...

BiJ - Indeed they do, but I would probably feel less secure if I knew it was managed by the coporate sewer people...

Chris - Yeah, that's from Aliens, I'll go look for the cookies! When I get an office with my own personal toilet, that's when I will know that I've really gotten it made! Toilet and closet would be the ultimate dream though, imagine the number of people I shove in there combined!

Sigma1 - Well, in one way it would be a security - you'd know very well that you won't be pushed down further down the chain when you're at the bottom. Still, being the worst Salaryman at one of the big corps will still make you respected among the non-corporate people!

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