Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Cry me a river

Before I joined the world of high intensity consulting; providing executives with the answers they need to get ahead in the world of business, I worked in a pretty ordinary corporate environment here in Tokyo. There are many differences between how my work environment looked and how it looks now, but there is especially one big difference that stands out.

There is a lot more crying at my current company.

In my previous job I think I witnessed one crying incident in the 6 years I spent there and that incident was unrelated to work as far as I could understand it. However in my current company there is a lot more crying going on. I think we can further segment the different types of crying that occurs in the office in the following segments:

1. Toilet Crying

2. Tired "I'm tired and I want to go home but still got a shitload to finish up" crying

3. Exhausted "I spent a weekend doing this and now you're just throwing it away" crying

4. "Someone said mean and hurtful things to me" crying

Toilet Crying can also be caused of one of the three later segments where the crying is deliberatly located to the safe environment of the toilet booth instead of out in the open.

Just in the recent couple of days, there have been incidents of the three later types of crying with one type 4 induced by Mr. Chin on one of the sweetest nicest female staff members (who sometimes wears a t-shirt with the text "I'm your c***") and also a type 3 on Ms. A induced by El Presidente.

However, there is one toilet crying incident that stands out and has become legend in the office. "The Mr. J Toilet Crying Incident". This legendary incident occured a good couple of months ago when there was a lot of turbulence and El Presidente was making efforts to remove Mr. J from the company. One of my beloved colleagues went to the bathroom to attend do his bodily needs, went in to the available booths and started to do his thing in a healthy and happy manner. However, from the booth next to the one he was enjoying the distinct sound of Mr. J flipping through paper was heard (believe me when I say that it's a very distinct sound) combined with sounds of crying. My colleague quickly finished up and evacuated the premises and not much later Mr. J emerged in the office again with red eyes, went in to his office and closed the door behind him without turning on the lights, sitting there in the dark (possibly eating peanuts).

So, why did he go to the bathroom and cry and not stay in his office where noone would notice anyway? Well, this is where the sad and funny part comes in. Mr. J was at this point so hounded by El Presidente with phone calls, e-mails and messages that the only safe haven he could find to get a minutes respite was the toilet...

Now, this is not very funny you say? Well, it's funny in a sad way...

As a conclusion, I have realized that if I'm to move up in the corporate ladder I need to make more people cry. Looking back now, I have managed to make very few people cry so far and that is something I really need to work on starting from tomorrow.

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