Monday, August 18, 2008

This means war!

There is one thing that can turn me into a screaming 5 year old girl... Nothing, and I really mean nothing, disgusts me as much as insects in general and cockroaches in specific. My crib has so far been free of these nasty little critters and although I might not always keep the cleanest lair, at least I try to keep rotting food and other nasty garbage to a minimum to not make it too attractive to them.

Yesterday evening, after seeing the wonderful Ms. Sunshine off, getting ready to chill a bit in the sofa in front of the TV I noticed a very very unwelcome guest... A nasty cockroach had found it's way and came flying from nowhere, landing by the bookshelf. In order to as quickly as possible remove this uninvited guest from the premises I took a couple of seconds to gather up the courage to face him, picked up a magazine to deliver a killing blow. Unfortunately i was a split second too slow and he ran off into cover and my sight behind the bookshelf... Knowing that a cockroach is on the loose in my living room effectively means that I cannot be comfortable in there and sitting in the sofa watching tv is completely out of the question...

I quickly ran out to arm myself and came back 5 minutes later with a bag full of traps and chemical warfare agents. I tried to find the little bugger to give him a face full of poison, but he kept himself out of sight and instead I made sure to spray the areas where he had run into. But still no sight of him...

I went to bed, closed the door and put some clothes in the crack between the floor and the door to make sure he wouldn't be able to sneak in on me and ambush me in my sleep. With this taken care of I could relax and sleep all through the night.

This morning, I catiously glimpsed out from my door, spray can in my claw, to try and catch him off guard before he could call his friends. When I approached the kitchen I saw him lying on his back, legs still twitching, but apparently dying. My WMDs had done its work and he was quickly disposed of through the toilet (took me a few minutes to figure out a means to lift the corpse up at a maximum distance from my body).

The lesson in here? If any cockroaches is reading this and is thinking of infiltrating my lair, they should know that I will use whatever means that are at my disposal, chemical warfare, poison traps and WMDs. I really do hate the roaches...

12 comments:

Auberginefleur said...

I have a cockroach who's been hanging out under my bathtub for almost a month now. Please tell me your WMD that you found worked!

Tokyo Cowgirl said...

I'm deathly afraid of the little assholes, too. If I see one I won't be able to sleep and I'm pretty sure it's a prescribable affliction. Anyway, I was so excited when I moved to Tokyo because I thought they didn't exist here... (they are practically registered citizens in Texas) but then I saw one on the sidewalk one day. Talk about my world falling apart before my eyes. It was tragic.

thevinylvillage said...

oh I am so with you on roaches...
Is there anywhere they DONT exist??

Mr. Salaryman said...

Aub - Ok, are you willing to take the war to the roach? This is a serious undertaking and needs to be done wholehearted. But, I would recommend you to start off lightly by buying "Black Cap"(ブラックキャップ) roach traps and strategically place them under the tub and in the bathroom. If you want to increase the pressure you could buy some nasty chemical spray and spray under the bathtub.

...This still don't work? Then it's time to turn to the WMDs. There are "bug bombs" available that you could set off in the bathroom, but I recommend you to have all the doors closed and stay out from the bathroom for at least a day and afterwards make sure to open the windows to you minimize the risk of you ending up with cancer...

Cowgirl - Wow, are you in for a nasty surprise. You should know that the Asian roaches are larger and even more disgusting than the ones you find in Texas. Seriously, make sure to take out the garbage, especially now during the summer!

Chris said...

I used to hate spiders, till I realized, the big ones eat cockroaches.

Now I leave the spiders alone and wish them happy hunting :)

AF said...

I flooded the bathroom (not easy because my bath and toilet are together in my old apartment) and flushed the darn thing out, mostly by accident. Then I sprayed every thing with Kabi Killer, I love that stuff. I am sure the chemicals would be illegal in the West, hence it actually works. Probably I will get some bizarre irreversible physical damage from inhaling it though. Thanks for the advice though, I may use it in the future. And yes, Chris, the scary jumping spiders actually eat the cockroaches, but are only mildy better roommates. Their babbies get in my clothes and bit me! I prefer the mice in my roof, however noisy they are, at least they don't invade my apartment. Scary things they are, they look like small possums. The cars on the road outside my apratment will stop for them, but not for me. What's that all about!

DrRogg said...

While I have tried many different methods of asserting my dominance over various cockroachy fiends, the one weapon I return to every time is the humble vacuum cleaner. The lengthy hose means you can attack at range, and once you've snared your target there's this delicious, quiver-inducing thunking noise as he hits the bag.

It does, however, require a fairly hefty hoover. If it doesn't actually kill him, you run the risk of him rising from the bag, bloody of mandible, and seeking vengeance on you and your loved ones.

Auberginefleur said...

drrogg,

You do know that you then have to close up the vacuum bag tightly and dispose of it, or the darn roach may lay eggs in the bag! (or larvae or whatever they do)

-AF

DrRogg said...

Alternatively, if you use a bagless hoover you can tip him out, set him on fire and re-enact Obi-Wan's funeral from Star Wars.

Mr. Salaryman said...

Wow, this has really turned into a discussion on the best way to kill a coackroach! A very important and useful discussion though.

However, I still strongly feel that chemicals are the way to go, the more and the stronger the better!

sngwx said...

a little late to the game, but i thought this topic was too important to ignore.

i've moved into my new apartment (in cockroach-riddled singapore) for more than two years now, but have not yet been meaningfully infiltrated by those nasty nasty miniature monsters. by that i mean, even though each five-storey apartment block sits atop its own garbage dump where i suppose cockroaches would mysteriously spawn, the few times i have seen cockroaches are its nymphs in the basement carpark, and once, along the corridor to my unit. it even managed to creep under the door but i quickly had it removed and the door chemically sealed.

i attribute this relative success to this gimmicky device, of which i have three protecting my 130 sqm space.

http://www.pestrepellerultimate.com/pest_repeller_ultimate_at.htm

of course, that comes over and above ensuring

1. no-grease policy. any surface with grease is sanitised upon detection
2. like ms sunshine, no dust bunnies allowed, whether or not guests are expected
3. all furnishings can be easily moved or have minimum height clearance from ground to facilitate easy cleaning and eliminate hiding spaces for bugs
4. windows are never opened - tropical forest right outside, and besides, its too hot without air-conditioning.
5. strict separation of "inside" and "outside". of course, shoes are not allowed in the house beyond the second floor tile from the door. objects (eg bags) that touch surfaces at home never touch the floor outside. finally, clothing that have been in contact with external surfaces (ie jeans/pants with seats in public transport, restaurants, etc) should be changed out of as soon as possible upon arrival at home to minimise transferral of external impurities to home surfaces. regular guests tend to have their own sets of home clothing stored here :p

despite that, i still think its most because of the ultimate pest repeller AT!

Persianxrose said...

LOL! My fiance is Japanese (I'm American), and he abosolutely HATES cockroaches! He works at Zensho and had to study them for a year cause he was a health inspector, and it seriously effected him poor dear. Any little black spot on the floor freaks him out, a few mornings ago it was a coffee bean that escaped the gridder so when I called him in for breakfast as soon as he came in he jumped and screamed at the coffee bean. If you ever need back up, he's got a bag of repellent just waitin' to be used! LOL!

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