Monday, July 28, 2008

I seriously need to start reading more Japanese tabloids!

Now I'm getting back to the Japanese climate, sweating together with my fellow salarymen again on the packed train to and from work, feeling like one in the gang again. All is well.

On my way back home from the airport after the trip to Australia I happened to see a headline in one of the weekly Japanese tabloid magazines directed at a male salaryman audience (namely "Spa!") that boldly stated: "Monster supervisors, sharply on the rise - report inside!". Since this appealed to my sense of humour and I recently got a new set of subordinates at work, I bought the magazine thinking that I need to copy the article and hand it out to them so they can classify me according to the article.

But did I make a mistake in thinking that would be the only article of interest! The magazine is great, it also featured an article entitled something like "Ikebukuro - Filth increasing rapidly" (astute readers might remember that this is the area I live in), "Is it true that if you're ugly you have no human rights?" and "Secret work sex dreams of new female employees"! This type of weekly tabloid magazines are very chauvinistic and sensationalistic in their journalistic approach, something which appeals to my sense of humour, if you're looking for subtle intellectual in-depth reporting, you won't find it there, but you'll find plenty of outrageous and shocking news!

Let me give you some examples from the "Ikebukuro - Filth increasing rapidly" article which argues that the sex industry is increasing rapidly in Ikebukuro and hints that it's out of control due to the aging Yakuza in the area who are not effecient enough in taxing and controlling the prostitutes resulting in it going to the street. They also interview a pimp who boldly states that "Ikebukuro has always been a place where people with no money gather, before and now as well" and describes how sexual services are provided in parked vans to cater to this financially challenged crowd who cannot afford the pittance a "love hotel" would cost them.

The "Secret work sex dreams of new female employees" article summarizes a survey that boldly state that 7% of the interviewees dream of forcibly having their boobs copied in the office copy machine and that a shocking 45% would like to have their butt groped in the elevator by their boss. It's slightly shocking to me since that's not really what I thought women dreamed about, but it's written in a magazine so it must be true!

I really need to start reading these magazines more regularly for the comedy!

(Today in the iPod: "Me and my Ding-Dong" by classic EBM group Pankow, ok, the lyrics are pretty puerile but the song is funky and reminds me why EBM was so great in the late '80s and early '90s. Anyone who still remembers Pankow?)

9 comments:

Tokyo Cowgirl said...

45% would like to have their butt groped in the elevator by their boss? I bet the remaining 55% would like to have their butts groped in the elevator by TWO bosses. One cheek per boss! :-) It's the only reasonable conclusion.

Mr. Salaryman said...

Well, the argument makes sense, but I still like the copy machine thing better and 7 out of 100 is a respectable figure!

I've never groped any of my female staff ever and never really had a thought of doing that, but with this relevation this is something I should seriously consider!

Bas said...

That's hilarious, haha.

ThePenguin said...

The current edition contains practical tips on how to tell if female office workers formerly worked in less salubrious occupations.

Mr. Salaryman said...

I really need to start reading this magazine regularly...

ThePenguin said...

The low-down on why women have been exposing so much flesh in recent years (definitely much more than a decade or so ago, if my memory serves me correctly).

ThePenguin said...

(whoops) meant to write: "The current issue has the low-down..." - according to the ads on the train, I don't buy it every week.

Mr. Salaryman said...

Never mind minor errors Penguin. The point is that this magazine deals with the important issues!

Anonymous said...

Oh no... I hope no bosses actually take that stuff seriously and try it on what they suspect is the 45%

I sense impending law suits...

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