Monday, June 6, 2011

I think you called the *wrong* guy Pt. 2


How many did it sell?

It's been a while now since I've had any particularly annoying and/or amusing phone calls at work (ones that come to mind are the old man with the piano and the Sneaky Lying Bastard Indian guy pretending to be Swedish). But today I received an interesting phone call to my direct line. The conversation went something like this:

Salaryman: (reasonable friendly in Japanese) This is the company, Salaryman speaking
Dr. Fraud: (English with american accent, sounding pretty normal) Yes, hello, my name is Dr. Clark calling from Cairns hospital, is this customer service?
Salaryman: (getting a bit suspicious since we don't do sales outside Japan) No, this is marketing, but maybe I can help you?
Dr. Fraud: (seems nervous) Well, it's about an order, so if you could please put me through to customer service?
Salaryman: (smelling blood in the water and turning up the assholishness, deceptively friendly) Well, I'm sure that I can help you, what is the inquiry? What product?
Dr. Fraud: (very nervous, stuttering) Well... I-I-I don't have the order number now, I must check with my secretary, I'll just call back
Salaryman: (even more friendly) No worries, we don't carry that many products, surely you must know what type of product this is about?
Dr. Fraud: (even more nervous) Well, yes.... I-I-I it's... uh... Can I call back? 
Salaryman: (devious) Hey, do you even know what company this is and what type of products we sell?!
Dr. Fraud: (on the verge of panic) You sell... medical devices, right...?
Salaryman: (calling the bluff) Well, if you're a doctor calling about an order, surely you must know what field we're in?!
Dr. Fraud: (Hanging up)

Obviously it was a headhunter trying to get the contact details for our customer service manager. I know how hard and nasty it is to do cold-calling from my consultant days and am usually relatively nice to companies doing cold-calling as long as they're honest about why they're calling and what they want, but these headhunters calling and lying to get personal information are pretty bad.

6 comments:

Hanta said...

I was thinking about going into recruiting this summer but decided it wasn't for me. How was it when you did? A bit dog eat dog and that?

BiggerInJapan said...

since Fukushima, the number of recruiters approaching has drastically increased. I am talking about serious, senior management positions for gaishikei companies. There is a lot of expats wrapping up and leaving this summer, I have been told.

Chris said...

(smelling blood in the water and turning up the assholishness, deceptively friendly)

I like doing that too :)

Dr. Fraud....

He wishes he had a title other than the guy at the back of the telemarketers sweatroom

Mr. Salaryman said...

Hanta - I actually never did the recruitment thing, there's plenty of cold calling in management consulting too though, but at least there's no lying and stuff, just the challenge of reaching the person you need to talk to.

I can't say I would strongly advise against recruitment, it seems like a pretty harsh job, but I've also met some quite good, nice and professional guys working with that. Pay can also be really good (if you're good at it) and it's a way out of English teaching towards a more company job... Might be worth a shot just to see how it is?

BiJ - Is it really that many leaving? Not that I can't believe it, but haven't really heard much about senior management running home though from other companies?

Chris - Horrible horrible people... Partly I feel sorry for them, but I have this thing about people lying to get what they want which releases my inner asshole...

Fernando said...

We have a saying where I come from...a liar falls faster than a criple without cruthces. My GF loves that saying because she is a swift as you are in detecting and surfing around a lie, making me look like a jackass everytime I lied and got cought, and it was every single one...good thing is that I THINK I have learn my lesson.

Good way to mock that poor headhunter man, took the lie, focused on detailes to make him step his own horseshit and then just make him feel stupid. Bet the poor dude ended up in a fetal possition sucking his thumb lol

Anonymous said...

This is fuckin' funny!

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