Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"People are our most important resource"

As the battle to save the peon from a brutal firing goes on I had a discussion about the whole mess with Mr. Shachou a few days earlier.

In it, I again tried to hammer in the stupidity of firing that person without giving him a proper chance to perform, just because of of personal issues between Mr. Schachou and the peon. The discussion turned into a more general discussion about Human Resource policies and how we, as a company, are behaving in this. Obviously, like any other corporation, we have it down in writing somewhere that "people are our greatest resource" and that we must "hire and retain the best people". The last year or so, around 10 people were hired by the company and there are very few left of them now, one year later... The conversation went something like this.

Mr. Shachou: We must make sure we have the best organization!
Mr. Salaryman: Well, what about Mr. Sales Manager, you hired him and he is now demoted to a peon position in the asshole of Japan?
Mr. Schachou: Yeah...
Mr. Salaryman: And what about Captain Incompetent who you hired last year and had to take to court to get rid off?
Mr. Shachou: Yes, but...
Mr. Salaryman: And the new quality assurance people that we desperately need and that left the company and now we don't have the resources to do what we need to do?
Mr. Schachou: But they were negative!
Mr. Salaryman: And then we have Mr. We-Have-A-Serious-Problem that wants to leave and only stays on because it would be a breach of contract for him to leave just yet?
Mr. Schachou: If he doesn't want to do this, then he should leave
Mr. Salaryman: Yeah, but if he leaves, who's gonna do what he does now?
Mr. Schachou: (Silence)
Mr. Schachou: (In a very unusual apologetic tone of voice, slightly hushed) I'm not very good at recruiting, am I...?

The battle rages on, but it seems like I have gotten some unexpected allies, so saving the peon from certain destruction is still not impossible.


Martin said...

It seems that you are a bit like God Jesus. Keeping it real and telling the truth. Or something like that?

mameha said...

Your company sounds pretty messed up!

Mr. Salaryman said...

I am both keeping it real and telling the truth, and yeah, things can be pretty messed up...

Anonymous said...

holy Pete closed the door of heaven ans told everyone that the heaven is full, no place there anymore and if someone will accept his offer, then they can go to the hell but with a same conditions like in the heaven(nice girls, good food, much free time, holy golf and so on..) some of people said ok, signed the contract and started to fall down.

on the way it was at first all white and shiny, then it started to burn and they landed in a burning lake full with devils who are going to torture newcomers. in a last paintful moment one of them saw holy face of Peter last time again and yelled: "But Peter we signed a contract!" and "you promised.."..

"well my dear.." said holy Pete, hiding contracts in his toga,"..that was before your choice. now its a completly different situation".

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