This particular type of commuter terrorist is not really evil or deliberately out to hurt you, so in fact, it's probably wrong to call it a person as much as a situation that happens sometimes even from the most well meaning commuters. I am of course talking about the crotch pressing issue that can happen when you are standing in an extremely crowded train after maneuvering your way through the blockers and when there is no more room for the hangers to hang.So, you're standing there in the completely packed train with very little room to move except when the train is accelerating or decelerating for stops at the stations and the whole population of the train move together as the tide, no longer are we individuals, we are a force of nature. In best case you enter the zen-like state of commuter meditation, just holding on and waiting to reach your destination, zoned out, trying to not think of the warm humidity, body odor (worse than a room full of IT helpdesk (Happy Penguin?!) people), people pushing from all directions on you. At some level you are at peace, but then you realize that the man behind you, of similar height as you, is standing with his whole body, including the crotch, firmly pressed against your back.
The guy is not doing it deliberately and with no sexual intent behind it, you would not know that it is his crotch pressing against your butt unless you had happened to look behind you and realized the person's height and can assume the general level of the crotch... This tears at least me, out of my zen-like state and back into intense commuter distress, there is no way to avoid the situation until the next stop where you can try and twist away a little. Since the pressure is constant from all sides, it is not a problem until you think about it, ignorance is bliss here...
Personally, I obviously try to avoid becoming a crotch presser, but sometimes I end up being the presser until I can turn a bit... And yeah, if it’s not soft, it might be a train molester and those guys are straight up illegal!
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7 comments:
Non of those life-in-Tokyo blogs would say something so awkward yet so realistic about, obviously, life in Tokyo!
My personal favorite.
A couple of techniques that have worked for me in the past: place bag/suitcase in hand between grinder and butt or head towards a pole and use it as a barrier. If those fail, turn and face the grinder crouch to crouch, the grinder who will move elsewhere from embarrassment (I haven't tested this technique yet).
That might stimulate my ass to release gases with a smell that could be confused with rotting carrion.
A kind of deep caveman brain self-preservation instinct.
Yuseff - Thanks and good that you liked it, but yeah, it's pretty awkward...
JJ - Oh, you're thinking of throwing down the glove and challenging him to a swordfight... Could be a real gamble...
Chris - Well, it's jsut that the crowded train makes it hard to make sure he realizes that you're the culprit...
That photo is hilarious! Ah, the good ol days.
I am glad that the one time the train was ridiculously crowded there wasn't a guy way too close to my behind. Thinking back I guess wearing a backpack was a possible defence.
Are you sure there aren´t any other bloggers posting about "Commuter Terrorists - The ass pusher" refferring to experiences with you?
Now that does not sound pleasant! The things we go through for work..
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