Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Ebizo Ichikawa Press Conference - Live here at Salaryman's!

Ok, for the first time in my blogging history, I will do a live report on the upcoming press conference with Ebizo Ichikawa to hear all the sordid detailed regarding the ashtrays with tequilas, the bikers, the half-breeds and the brutal beeting! Not to mention how curious we all are to see whether he has maintained his good looks or look like Frankenstein!

Not that it'll really be live since this is a blog and not twitter, but humour me here and you can pretend that it's ongoing while you read it.

19:52 - Press conference has yet to begun, Baby Sunshine is sucking on her drool bib and Mrs. Sunshine has apparently prepared a pumpkin salad and gyoza for dinner, I feel excited about this!
19:55 - I had my first gyoza, it taste great, but I got a small frown due to the amount of chili oil mix I poured on the stuff
19:57 - I tasted some of the pumpkin salad and can't say that I'm that excited about it, but apparently it's made by the mother in law so I "should be grateful"
20:00 - Press conference is starting, but I feel more interested in the food (not the pumpkin salad), maybe I should get some more rice?
20:01 - Ebizo comes out shows his face, bows and look pretty normal, I was expecting a freakish face, dissapointing
20:02 - Baby Sunshine gets the boobie beside me, she seems content, some agency dude are talking and I can't really be bothered to listen to him
20:05 - Now Ebizo is gonna talk, I'm so hyped, he talks some boring empty phrases about how much trouble he has caused for all related people, blah blah blah
20:07 - He talks about how he wanted to do this press conference to apologies to everyone, but I wanted to hear about ashtrays and tequila?! I think I need more rice, but he's got a pretty big apology thing going, now he's doing a 30 seconds bow! Oh, one 30 second one wasn't enough, he did another one!
20:10 - Now he sits down after some excessive bowing, the floor is open for questions!
20:11 - I'm getting more rice, maybe a gyoza or two as well
20:14 - They're asking him if he was completely wasted out of his mind or not, he says he wasn't
20:16 - I did pour soy sauce on the rice and eating with knife and fork, please don't tell anyone
20:18 - Now they're asking if he knew the biker thugs that he ended up boozing with, seems like he didn't
20:19 - The question came how long he got beaten up, he says it felt like a long time (wow!)
20:21 - A great question "I think that you maybe thought that you would die at some point, when did you fear for your life?", equally great answer "when I was beaten up"
20:25 - "How many people beat you up?" Came a question, "more than one I think", it's a little entertaining that the person asking the question sounded a bit pissed off and aggressive
20:26 - Whew, I'm getting full, pretty good stuff today, maybe I'll have a cookie afterwards
20:27 - I wonder if it's custom to eat a gyoza in one bite or whether it's acceptable to cut it in half?
20:28 - Apparently Ebizo had quit drinking at some point and now they asked when he got on the wagon again, about a year ago and for the night in question he says that he had three cocktails, one bottle of champagne and some nice hard liqour too including tequila (well done Ebizo!)
20:31 - That was a nice dinner, can't find place for another gyoza, Mrs. Sunshine seems mildly annoyed that I didn't have much of the pumpkin salad
20:32 - "How do you feel about drinking now after this?" came a question "well, I don't think I'll feel like drinking in a long time" (no shit!)
20:34 - It really is a good thing that Ikea sells those tasty "Ballerina" cookies, I prefer the chocolate ones before the jam version
20:37 - Most of the questions are kinda dull, wonder how long this will go on? They should close this soon, I'm getting bored with this, he can't answer any of the interesting questions because "the police investigation is ongoing so I can't talk about this"
20:40 - Wow, most dull questions so far "what did you talk about with your wife in the hospital?"
20:42 - Screw this, this is way too dull, I'm gonna go play with the baby instead!


Jeffrey said...

One of the funniest posts you've ever made.

aimlesswanderer said...

These public apology press conferences are pretty much interchangeable now, all around the world.

The PR people have written the standard script and just need slight adjustment for individual circumstances/cultures.

Sadly I find it hard to believe any of them, as they seem too formulaic and stage managed.

ThePenguin said...

I glean all of my knowledge of Japanese celebrities from Mr. Salaryman, saving me the trouble of watching or even owning a TV.

Mr. Salaryman said...

Jeffrey - Thank you thank you, I feel quite pleased with it myself to be honest

Aimless - Well I think the extremely long bow is a bit particular for Japan and I never really figured out what he had to apologies for more than being beaten up (which he claims wasn't his fault), ok, he ditched a press conference and went drinking, but no big deal really

Penguin - This is all you need, trust me

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